[Hook]
Am I still ill or is this post traumatic waste
Seizing my stomach blowing smoke in my face
Am I ill still or is this post traumatic poison
Plaguing polluting defying destroying
Am I still ill or is this post traumatic waste
Seizing my stomach blowing smoke in my face
Am I ill still or is this post traumatic poison
Plaguing polluting defying destroying
[Verse 1]
It's like I'm on a drug that distorts perception
The other day I called a friend just to ask a question
Didn't pick up at home, tried his cell' again no answer
I knew immediately it meant he was diagnosed with cancer
Or a couple of other friends of mine
Who told me not too long ago
That their son's got a cold- a runny nose all the time
They're dying to know what crazy virus this is and I know
It's not a virus at all, it's the mutant cell
And they're both about to fall just where I fell
Every stomach ache I hear of,every cough,every new freckle
Means another sorry s**er ain't gotta worry about shekels
Because he now faces hardships on a much larger scale
Make all the sh** he's been through seem pretty pale
And pretty soon he'll be poisoned,chopped up with knives
Hopelessly hoping he'll somehow survive
[Hook]
Am I still ill or is this post traumatic waste
Seizing my stomach blowing smoke in my face
Am I ill still or is this post traumatic poison
Plaguing polluting defying destroying
Am I still ill or is this post traumatic waste
Seizing my stomach blowing smoke in my face
Am I ill still or is this post traumatic poison
Plaguing polluting defying destroying
[Verse 2]
I've also been thinking about the s** life you had
How many guys were there at all? sh** like that
I could probably find out, I think
Ask your girlfriends or brother two who knew more about these things
Because when you were around I couldn't bring myself to listen
But now I want to find out before it's all too distant
Since everything about you is now past
I sometimes have an urge to get more knowledge fast
Save as much as I can in a special memory bank
Have a designated hard disk treasure chest fuel tank
On a kitchen shelf like a cookie jar calling a kid
Then when it's enough I can just shut the lid
So how many guys f**ed you? 2? 3? 4?
4′s enough you were young I hope it wasn't more…
Well actually f** it! I hope there were ten
It's not like you'll be going at it ever again
[Hook]
Am I still ill or is this post traumatic waste
Seizing my stomach blowing smoke in my face
Am I ill still or is this post traumatic poison
Plaguing polluting defying destroying
Am I still ill or is this post traumatic waste
Seizing my stomach blowing smoke in my face
Am I ill still or is this post traumatic poison
Plaguing polluting defying destroying
[Verse 3]
And you were the baby girl
You were the little baby girl
You were the little baby girl who finally appeared
After three boys after a dozen years
You were the little baby girl the oxygen mask
In the choking family structure, but the task
Of being the one who holds the candle-
Was simply too much for you to handle
Playing your role caused you stress
That resulted in a cancerous tumor in your chest
And now that your life came to its tragic ending
I know it's time for me to quit pretending