WHIZZER
Hang up all your clothes
MARVIN
Whizzer begs
WHIZZER
Whizzer knows
MARVIN
Shave your legs
WHIZZER
Make me sick
MARVIN
You're a prick
WHIZZER
God you're impossible
We've been together for nine months
MARVIN
Ten months
WHIZZER
Nine Months
MARVIN
Ten Months
WHIZZER
Nine months
MARVIN
Ten months
We are the salt of the bourgeoisie
WHIZZER
While I put the steak in
MARVIN
I bring home the bacon
BOTH
And we're proud to say we love it how we
MARVIN/ WHIZZER
Don't/ Won't
MARVIN
Don't
WHIZZER
Won't
MARVIN AND WHIZZER
Agree
WHIZZER
Everything he owns is vile
Marvin doesn't care
A whit
Marvin doesn't share
My devotion to
Style
Men from France can cancel a debt
Men in cufflinks make me forget my name
I intend to upset
This regrettable game
MARVIN
Whizzer takes me by the neck
WHIZZER
What is that, wash and wear?
MARVIN
Whizzer has unlimited knowledge of
Dreck
WHIZZER
Send me flowers
MARVIN
Mention is made
WHIZZER
Make them roses
MARVIN
Attention is paid
In full
WHIZZER
See how quickly he sours
MARVIN
When he pushes, I pull
WHIZZER
Pick up your clothes, Marvin
Breeding shows Marvin
MARVIN
I was rich
He was horny
WHIZZER
We fit like a glove
MARVIN
Close your eyes, Whizzer
WHIZZER
Pa**ion dies
But I'd k** for that thrill of first
Love
BOTH
We ask for pa**ion at all times
We stand for pa**ion and drink this toast
WHIZZER
Still it's awfully trying
MARVIN
And we're not denying
BOTH
That of all the lesser pa**ions
We like fighting most
WHIZZER
Eh...
MARVIN
Whizzer screws too much to see
What a joy's monogamy
What a joy is saving his joys
For one man
WHIZZER
Leave me
MARVIN
Love me
WHIZZER
Don't be a fool
MARVIN
Want me
WHIZZER
Feed me
MARVIN
No one's so cruel
And cheap
WHIZZER
What I love I devour
MARVIN
What you love you devour
What I covet I keep
Isn't that right, Whizzer?
Let's both fight, Whizzer!
WHIZZER
I was trained in karate
MARVIN
I'm best when I cheat
So I'll cheat, Whizzer, and I'll shove
And I'll k** for that thrill of first
Love
WHIZZER
We've been together for nine months-
MARVIN
Ten months
WHIZZER
Nine months
MARVIN
We've been together for ten months
WHIZZER
What, it's been nine months
MARVIN
Ten months
MARVIN AND WHIZZER
In fact we've almost survived a year
WHIZZER
True, but
BOTH
Who is counting?
We're too busy mounting
A display of our affection
That is so sincere
(30 measure interlude)
BOTH
Pa**ion dies
Pa**ion dies
WHIZZER
I would k** for that thrill of first love
MARVIN
I would k** for that thrill of first love-
WHIZZER
I would k** for that thrill of first love-
MARVIN
I would k** for that thrill
WHIZZER
I would k** for that thrill of first
MARVIN
I would k** for that thrill of first
BOTH
Love
Love
Lo-ve!