[Verse 1]
k**ing more braincells than weed
It's me, bu*ts
Accused of lust, sloth, and greed
Envy, wrath, pride, and gluttony
Showed up with a Christmas sweater
That was flashy and bu*tony
Uttering sentences choppier than mutton
"Gee whiz, Seymour you're so vindictive
You're a perverted rapist, and you're a chauvinist"
I don't care about remarks like this
I sit back and watch hoes get pissed
Like "you said you were going to lick sh**
Out of an a**hole than let her sit full weight
On your lunged throat
You wouldn't be able to breathe
bu*ts, that's zanier than anything else conceived
You're messed up
A psycho schizophrenic on the loose
That gets a bo*er every time that
Girls go queef and toot"
[Hook]
You better keep up with me like the Kardashians
Cause the music you hear blowing out your amp is what's in
I do worse to you than Hennessy and gin
I am all seven of the deadliest sins
My warped style will make your heads spin
It'll seep through your earphones and ooze into your skin
My music messes you up worse than venom or poison
I am all seven of the deadliest sins
[Verse 2]
Twenty bars per verse
That's four more than the average sixteen
Unlike Claire Standish, I'm nowhere near pristine
I'm f**ed up, brain dead, deadweight, come on fix me
I'll leave you choked purple
Worse than prepuce foreskin dicks be
We all live in a yellow submarine
Except me
I live in one with a pot leaf painted green
Social media outlets, abuzz saying I'm mean
When I'm just so stoned, I thought that my cat
Was Mr. Bean
"Roll call, oh sh**, where's Seymour
We gotta find him! Hurry!
He has a bad public demeanor
He's known for being a stubborn intevenor
He's off the wall bat-sh**
As fast and swift as a lemur
A wet-dreamer, a Reddi-wip creamer
Known for k**ing men with only a soapbox and a steamer"
[Hook]
"We gotta find him--oh goddamn
Seymour's got a machete
You have to admit, this is driving past the levee
This is overk**, you're gonna make me vomit
Worse than Marshall's mom's spaghetti
Please don't k** me, I pray
Please lord, I'm not ready"
You guys call me a leafer, smoking reefers
And that I'm such a weed roll-a
Or that I'm a junkie, even though
The only coke in my life is Coca-Cola
So now you know I'm off the hemp
But still, I am a lot like Shady Eminem
I do do horrorcore, I would b**h-slap a who*e
I would drink a gallon of beer and ask for more
Growing up, we were both social pariahs
In our later years we both got f**ed by a girl named Mariah
We both swear a lot, and don't allow the veins to clot
We both rap under the genre miscellaneous
And we'll both be quick to stick our penises into your an*s
[Hook]
Nah, but seriously
I didn't steal sh** from Em
I act a little bat-sh** with Lenny
But I try to do more revolting perverted stuff
Rather than acts of violence and other sh** like that
The rest of the stuff, it's just violence
Eminem didn't invent that
But he did innovate it
I hope he doesn't go Canibus on me
Claiming I stole something from him
My style's like that of his
But I'm not him
I'm (SEYMOUR)
(All right, that one was just a joke)