Stewie:
Now, everybody gather round and listen if you would
When I tell you every person needs a way of feeling good
Every kitty needs a ball of string and every dog a stick
Stewie & Brian:
But all you need is a bag of weed to really get a kick
All:
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight!
A bag o' weed, a bag o' weed
Oh, everything is better with a bag o' weed
It's the only help that you'll ever need
Because everything is better with a bag o' weed!
Stewie:
There you go. You're all getting it now
Ensemble:
When Texas people wanna feel good
Stewie:
They go a**ault a queer
Ensemble:
When stupid people need a thrill
Stewie:
They rent The Rocketeer
Ensemble:
When Michael Jackson needs a rush
Stewie:
He humps a guy like me
Ensemble:
Right!
All:
But all we need is a bag o' weed to keep us worry free
One, two, three, ho!
A bag o' weed, a bag o' weed
Oh, everything is better with a bag o' weed
No, you don't need meth and you don't need speed
Because everything is better with a bag o' weed
Stewie:
Have a go, Brian
Brian:
As Mr. H. L. Mencken said, "The common man's a fool"
Stewie:
And just like Helen Keller said, "Poof do kee dee poh pool."
Brian:
But try and use your heads and don't buy into all the fear
All:
Hey!
Because all we need is a bag o' weed
To make us wanna cheer
And one, two
A bag o' weed, a bag o' weed
Oh, everything is better with a bag o' weed
You can try and fight, but we're all agreed
Because everything is better with a bag o' weed
(instrumental break)
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight
And a one, two, three, four
And a five, and a six, and a seven. Oh!
A bag o' weed, a bag o' weed
Oh, everything is better with a bag o' weed
You're a happy guy when you plant the seed
Because everything is better with a bag
O'
Weed!
Oh, everything is better with a bag of weed!