[Lish]
Yo real sh**, sometimes I hate being a server
It makes my nerves irk, didn't think I could deserve worse
[Smevz]
Guy says he'll take care of you and leaves a buck, what a dick
Why is it, the ones promisin' tips are the ones that leave you sh**
[Lish]
You see the tits on that chick at table six?
Too bad dude she's with is both a douche and a cheese dick
[Smevz]
Table sixty-two, an iffy dude sittin' in a spiffy suit
In solitude and awfully rude, probably waitin' on his prostitute
[Lish]
f** this entire family of slobs in my section
Tonight was gonna be my night off, how am I to expect this?
[Smevz]
Fantastic, they got an a** itch over a sandwich?
f** that sh**, I hope this fat b**h chokes on a fat dick
[Lish]
Yo Smevz, look at my section, it's thrashed, a f**in' mess
sh** all over the tables and walls, I'm not impressed
When you go out to dine, this is how you dress?
Let me guess, they'll leave me no tip, dammit I'm vexed and upset
[Smevz]
I'm lovin' how this fat a** has these wings on his plate
Thirty and they're deep fried, greasified, but wait!
With a light ranch and diet coke goin' in his face
You know I'm hopin' for the moment that his f**in' chair breaks
[Lish]
Some say this job is great, tips benefit if you're minimum wage
Walk out with stacks of cash every night after work, you're on your way
Servin' these s**ers night after night gets kinda played
I'm just tryin' to make my livin' and you treat me like a slave
[Smevz]
I'm on a mission a**istin' the biggest b**h in the buildin'
Who's sittin', rippin' chicken off of all the wings like she's clippin'
And it's the image envisioned that she'll be tippin' me sh**
And then I'll be flippin' out the kitchen window screamin' I'M QUITTIN'
[Lish]
Don't tell me all the same jokes I've heard before
You're a bore, and guess what? Your wife looks like a who*e
I'm sore, from listenin' to your stupid f**in' punchlines
Why must I, in fact your wife makes me wanna muff dive
[Smevz]
"I want the fish. Wait, tell me your specials instead, dude!"
That's not exactly knowledge you'll only find on Neptune
If you're actually askin' me that, perhaps I shouldn't respect you
I'm sorry your sorry a** can't read a god damn menu
[Lish]
Look at this chump, he has to shake his f**in' gla** at me
Oh no, you need another iced tea? What a f**in' catastrophe!
[Smevz]
Will someone shut that baby up? It's gettin' so loud
I'm about to go around and slap its a** to the ground!
[Lish]
I'm done with just roughin' it, this f**in' bunch is disgustin'
Another luncheon I'm stuck with that's always buggin' for somethin'
[Smevz]
They part with three bucks for everything that I give these slobs?
Carpe deez nuts, god damn I can't wait to quit this job!