The movies don't need mooshy stuff --
That's what the back seat's for
So I'll put up with putting out
If you'll provide the gore
Freddy Krueger, Jason, Leatherface and Chucky
Slaughter lots of co-eds so that you'll get lucky --
You buy the tickets, I'll bring the breasts
And tonight it won't be only the dead that won't be gettin' no rest
We've got lots in common, boy:
We both know what we want
You'll get yours when I get mine --
I'll swap you hump for haunt
Some girls want the sugar, some girls want the spice
Well, I want Jack the Ripper crossed with Vincent Pryce --
You find the show times, I'll spread my thighs
And tonight it won't be just the undead who find a reason to rise
You can keep your dramas -- I'll be misbehavin'
With Stephen King, John Carpenter and Wesley Craven
I don't need a romance, baby, let's not quarrel
'Stupid people bite it' is my favorite moral
I won't say be careful or ask if it's you
But if there's lots of blood, well, that's all I won't do
So you pick the picture, I'll pick the date
It doesn't matter when the previews begin -- we'll be stayin' out late
They say cartoons and comedies
Are what a girl desires
Well, sorry, but I'm not amused
Until someone expires
You can keep the chocolates and the long-stemmed roses;
Bring me something horrible that decomposes
You get the sodas, I'll lose the skirt
And if you wanna find a sequel or three, well, baby, that wouldn't hurt
If you wanna make it to first base, somebody better lose their face
If lots of co-eds die tonight, then second base may be in sight
If third base is your final goal, somebody's gotta lose their soul --
And if Cthulhu rises out of the foam, baby, you'll be taking me home
You buy the popcorn, I'll raise the stakes
And if you thought this plot was fun the first time...wait 'til you see the remake
The movies don't need CGI;
The old ways are the best
Give me slaughter, give me slime
And boy, you'll pa** my test
It doesn't take that much to dazzle and impress me --
Just take me to a graveyard before you undress me
You get the picture? Come on, let's go
We'll make our bodies count each moment at the late night picture show!