The Black d**h arrived in Europe back in thirteen forty-seven
And for several hundred years it just kept sending folks to heaven
It spread outward from Messina and struck hardest in the summer
And if you were in the path of plague it really was a bummer
Well, we blamed it on the rats, and we blamed it on the fleas;
We were ignoring crucial facts about the spread of the disease
And I think it's time we called for a more thorough inquisition
'cause it's clear that the Black d**h possessed a droplet-based transmission
Now, a droplet-based transmission means I sneeze and then you die
It's a fairly common vector and we think that's largely why
The quarantine developed to protect us from diseases
And to help and keep your family from dying of my sneezes
The bubonic plague's bacterial, with rat fleas as the vector
And the speed of spread's retarded by this animal infector
While the Black d**h spread through Europe at a speed that was much faster
So we need a better agent to account for this disaster
You can't quarantine a rat flea -- no, the rat flea doesn't care
If your quarantine's successful, then the virus spreads by air
If the Black d**h were bubonic, then the quarantines would fail
And the fact that they succeeded tells a very different tale
The Black d**h hit hard in Iceland, and there's something you should know:
That there are no rats in Iceland, 'cause the temperature's too low
And without rats, there's no rat fleas to infect you with a bite
So the Black d**h had to spread by means beyond their appetite!
Speaking epidemiologically, bubonic plague doesn't make sense to me
Yersinia pestis makes you dead, it's true, but it isn't as effective as the common flu
If you want to wipe out half of Europe's population, you need a better agent for your devastation;
You need a viral agent that that is tried and tragic -- let's take a look at fevers that are hemorrhagic
Now a hemorrhagic fever is a nasty beast indeed
And we've named it for its tendency to make its victims bleed
It can trigger cranial swelling often leading to psychosis
And posthumous study demonstrates internalized necrosis
It is heavily infectious with a high mortality;
When you put it all together, it sounds like the plague to me!
And best of all, transmission is from one case to another
So you get it from your sister, then you give it to your brother
One man gave it to another, or perhaps to four or five
And by the time the summer ended, very few were left alive
Those survivors spoke of symptoms that were gruesome and quite gory
And by looking at their memoirs we can learn more of the story
If you study records chronicling how the plague was spread
It often started with a stranger who arrived and then got dead
It would take about a month before another case was spotted
But once the plague took hold the outbreak's course was plainly plotted
Each infection would begin with something known as 'latency'
That's when you can pa** the plague around, but nobody can see
Any sign that you're infectious and a hazard to their health
And a droplet-based transmission really helps you spread the wealth
Once the latency was ended, then the symptoms would appear
And when you displayed 'God's tokens', then you knew the end was near
For they were red and hardened patches on your torso, back or legs
And they don't match a single symptom that attends bubonic plagues!
Speaking epidemiologically, bubonic plague doesn't make sense to me
Yersinia pestis makes you dead, it's true, but it isn't as effective as the common flu
If you want to wipe out half of Europe's population, you need a better agent for your devastation;
You need a viral agent that that is tried and tragic -- let's take a look at fevers that are hemorrhagic
The bubonic plague takes less than fourteen days from 'catch' to 'k**'
And pneumatic plague is droplet-based, but slaughters faster still
While whatever caused the Black d**h took its time and had some fun:
For it didn't k** in fourteen days -- instead, try thirty-one
So we're looking at a plague whose symptoms differed from bubonic
Which swept through for generations in a manner cruel and chronic
That took far too long to k** you, and by quarantine was thwarted...
Now let's take a moment to consider where it might have started
If you take a look at all the waves of certified infection
You may see a pattern that demands a delicate inspection
For it looks as if the Black d**h, in the hemorrhagic style
May have started down in Africa and traveled up the Nile
Once it made its way to Egypt, it jumped to the Middle East
And with every port of call it found its potency increased
'Til it last it got to Europe and it really got things started
Making widows out of nations, leaving empires broken-hearted
Now I hope that you'll consider all the things I have suggested
All the reasons that bubonic plague should really be contested
As the agent that wiped out so many people without blinking
And while you may disagree with me, I hope it got you thinking
Because history repeats itself, its cycle's never-ending
And we ought to know the enemies against which we're defending
Please consider all I've said today the next time someone sneezes
Or we may find, like Messina, we're not braced for new diseases