Guess who's back, back in black
Wait wait, don't tell me, I know this one, umm
That Jacka** Cracker with the Half-a**ed rap
Oh, that half crap. A few months back
I caught his unfunny act, in fact I asked for my money back
I heard he had a heart attack, trapped under an avalanche
Strapped into an ambulance and crashed into a cadillac
I head he cracked his back and had a cast and that was that
But Zack says he's back, so where is he at
I'm in the Back of the dive bar
My stars brightening like lightning
And tight like Mylar
On fire like the pilot light stove
And if I drove batman would bum a ride in my car
And tonight, I'm feeling inspired
I arrive kinda fried, now I'm wildly wired
I'm admired by fryers and liars, sighers and buyers
Who won't retire, expire
Oo my now I'm tired
Everybody is working for the weekend and
When it comes hit the pub suds drink 'em in
Keep drinking till you see the ceiling spinning and
No blinking, no thinking, no sinking feeling and
That's where you'll find me, sitting alone, on my own
Playing tetris on my cellular phone
Downloading tones, and downing Corones
Dropping bones in the box, so I can rock the Ramones
Alright, it's friday night and I might
Find a nice little sight, where I can write
By the light of a miller light sign, and I'm so alive
I like the (Night life)
That's right (Prize Fight)
It's on tonight
But I'm hunting for a little hole, in which I might dive
And with that we reach the end of the first verse
Should have heard the one I wrote first, it was much worse
It was all about a nurse, full of curse words
Would have been funny had laughing gas been dispersed
What ever happened to that kid that sat in the back
Writing raps on napkins
Well he's backing next to thee
While you're trying to find s** high on ecstasy
And he
Still scribbles rhymes. Co-prescribed in his mind
Describing the times, when he was feeling fine k**ing time
With a pint or nine, sometimes wine
But never drops a dime on a drink with a lime
You might find him boring, got no time for him
Ignore him, hit the dance floor and
If he isnt playing pool, then he's taking your stool
At the bar so he Isn't quite as far from the pouring
And he's never making much of a scene
But he's a pinball wizard on the touch machine
Hes got half naked ladies on the photo hunt screen
Youll never touch his high score
Know what I mean?
Have you ever seen this man at all
Maybe the bathroom stall
He stands about that tall
Hes twitching like a kitten hittin' adderall
If you see him sing and ring him
Hell be glad that you called
[Chorus]
Were gonna dive dive, down down
Into the brink
Were goin' down down, dive dive
To get a drink
Were gonna dive dive, down down
Were gonna sink into a dive dive, down down
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)
[Verse]
Wow!
How you like me now
One chorus down, how did the performance of it sound
I guess I must've said that out loud
Because some clown turned around and frowned just now (Sorry!)
Where was I
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't funny was he, was he?
I'll take that out that wasn't funny
How 'bout a bit about money, guts and honey
Thats under chapter number one in Crappy Raps for Dummies
Oh no
You know that I won't go
Down that old trap, for those who rap in slow-mo
So, oh, there I go, wait where was I going with this
I dont know
Oh, yea girl, that p**y's fine
And I, wait
Was that last line really in my rhyme?
Here let me rewind
(that p**y's fine)
Right, like in feline
Cuz im a catman Batman
Swear that it was innocent
Just a little synonym, I didn't mean to be explicit
And it isnt just dicken tryna k** a minute
Quit, with the spinnin' in the middle and a zim-a-nin
Time is a wastin' and I might do a shot and chase a
Grammar rhyme pitching facin'
Half the pages im erasin'
Step outside and now im pacin'
Bracing for the self of facing
Now the second chorus is so close that I can taste it
[Chorus]
Were gonna dive dive, down down
Into the brink
Were goin' down down, dive dive
To get a drink
Were gonna dive dive, down down
Were gonna sink into a dive dive, down down
[Breakdown]
(Breakdown) thats where the ba** drops
(Takedown) thats where the game stops
(Shakedown) often takes 8 cops
(Stakedown) to support your tent props
(Downtown) try to find a good bar
(Uptown) oh no thats too far
(Backdown) with the fella in the yellow car
(Downtown) at the bottom here we are
[Verse]
I got one last verse, one last chance
To pa** a handful of words past and get you to dance
While I, fight my urges to laugh at your pants
If by chance that happens man thats only "happen" stance
So shake it, grab your leg and take it
Twist it, twirl it
Girl just brake it
Make it look like you dont fake it
Mix it, grease it
Weigh it, bake it
And who, cares, who
Looking when your cooking
With your crooked little book-a-nooken
They, might, see
Little bit of stirdle in the middle of your chin'le nipple
Shine, that, light
Back into the eyes of all the guys besides with ties and lice and
Thats, when, i'll
Gather up my racks and pay my tab and might slip out the back
[Bridge]
Alright, it's friday night and I might
Find a nice little sight, where I can write
By the light of a miller light sign, and I'm so alive
I like the (Night life)
That's right (Prize Fight)
It's on tonight
But I'm hunting for a little hole, in which I might dive
[Outro] x2
Were gonna dive dive, down down
Into the brink
Were goin' down down, dive dive
To get a drink
Were gonna dive dive, down down
Were gonna sink into a dive dive, down down (hey hey hey)
"Thanks alot. Everybody boo's me at once."