Schaffer the Darklord - Craig's List
And which is worse, a good idea that fails or a bad one with legs?
To be terse, your pardon I beg.
This first verse is the story of a boy named Craig.
Newmark, whose art did start while parked at a job,
doing computer security for Charles Schwab.
In '94 the bubble was still just a little glob of bubble gum
And no one knew the trouble'd come.
Craig was among the elite geek e-community.
The few proud who traded data electronically.
And to all his friends with which he shared such cameraderie,
He would send out a list of events that he wanted to see.
And that's how it all got started.
His idea hatched, took flight and departed.
Not so much a revolution as an e-solution,
Then a friend said "Can I use the list to rent my apartment?"
And another said "I'd like to sell my car on your list."
"And I'd like to find that girl from the party I kissed."
Another one tried to find the watch knocked off his wrist,
And another found a temp gig as an admin a**ist.
Chorus:
He's makin' a list (what?)
He's makin' a list (who?)
He's makin' a list (Craig?)
He's makin' a list (yeah)
Repeat Chorus
Well, before you know it it exploded overnight.
What was once a list was now a website.
But to his nerd values, Craig did stay true.
Gave some jobs to his friends, refused all advertising too.
And what's so great is that the users really run it,
Actin' like God, c'mon, everybody's done it!
You're readin' the list, you check a suspicious ad,
And like a citizen's arrest you click and give it a flag.
Miscategorized ads are sent for review,
As well as the spam, which is prohibited too.
Craig has faith, you will behave with civility,
Although the list is still rife with illegal activity.
Repeat Chorus 2x
Get a job or a haircut, sublet your house.
Buy a stolen bicycle, cheat on your spouse.
Hire an intern, post your resume,
Find a kinky pen pal you can IM all day.
Sell some concert tickets (click it) buy some used skis.
Give or get a bl**job, maybe a disease.
Find a ba**ist for your band and then post up a show.
Find a speed or coke dealer searching Tina or Snow.
Find homes for puppies, have phone ***** with yuppies.
See pics of erections, or place a missed connection.
Find your lost journal and find a ride to Burning Man,
Or find an LTR in a personal ad.
Buy yourself some bootleg DVDs.
Find a horny tweaker for some PNP.
Log on after 3 when all the users are usin',
And the list is all electronic cruisin'.
Join a study group or a community garden.
Find a leather nipple pain pig and beg his pardon.
Post in a forum, find you a ride share.
Activity partners, is right above child care.
I'd like to thank Craig for all of his aid.
In finding me roommates and a job that well paid.
I placed up an ad for ten days, it stayed,
And I'm afraid that Craig's list has even gotten me laid.
Women seeking women seeking men seeking other,
Seeking friends of Susan seeking her long-lost brother.
Seeking work, seeking rooms, seeking a fling.
Seeking out the god-damn weirdest things.
Anything you can think, including dirty deeds.
Use Craig's list, you're guaranteed to succeed.
That's right, and you just might even find it for free.
Like Snoop said, "never have a want, never have a need."
Repeat Chorus 2x
Outro:
He's makin' a list (what?)
He's checkin' it twice (who?)
He sees you when you're sleeping (Craig?)
Cause he's up all night (yeah)
This is the only song ever written (what?)
'bout a website (who?)
called Craigslist. You write a (Craig?)
line that rhymes with dot-org. (yeah)
Repeat Outro
He's makin' a list (what?)