What's wrong?
(Why the long)
Face on
(Come along)
The rain is gone
(We've got a song)
Hey, come on
(And sing along)
Problems
(You've got 'em)
Throbbing in your noggin
(Gotta walk 'em off)
We'll talk about 'em
(Before you hit rock bottom)
You've a quandary
(Sticky thistle)
Big dilemma
(In a pickle)
Take a walk
(Start to pace)
Between a rock
(And a hard place)
On a wire
(SNAFU)
Quagmire
(Catch-22)
Sick and tired
(Feeling blue)
It's dire
(What you gonna do)
Behind your blinds
(Peekin' out)
Hide inside
(Freakin' out)
Sweating bullets
(Stressin' hard)
Flip a coin
(Pick a card)
Roll the dice
(Draw Straws)
Shake the 8-
(ball and pause)
Don't you go
(And hurt yourself)
Take a breath
(We're here to help)
You could use some good advice
(We'll talk it through and do it twice)
Just because we're mighty nice
(The two of us are twice the price)
We'll offer you a payment plan
(But first I've gotta shake your hand)
For truly I'm a faithful fan
(Cuz you are Popeye the Sailor Man)
I'm the devil on your shoulder
(He's an evil doer soldier)
Like I told ya
(I'm the other devil on your other shoulder)
An enabler
(Facilitator)
Big mistake maker
(I'm the devil)
I'm the other devil
(On your shoulder)
On your other shoulder
(I'm the devil on your shoulder)
He's an evil doer soldier
(Like I told ya)
I'm the other devil on your other shoulder
(An enabler)
Facilitator
(Big mistake maker)
I'm the devil
(I'm the other devil)
On your shoulder
(On your other shoulder)
Now, hold up! Did you get ejected from the Navy, son?
f** it! Come with me and drown your sorrows in some Jameson
(Wait a minute! Booze ain't gonna help you chase the pain away
Stay away from him and have a seat. Try this Cabernet.)
f** that! Let's get high on hard d**. What's your type?
I've always wondered you're smoking in your ever-present pipe
(Just say no to d** You need a hug. Now come with me a sec
Stop. Take a breath. Great! Now take a Percocet.)
Sailing on the open sea? Let's stage a mutiny
Cast your shipmates overboard; your only crew is you and me
(I disagree. You should leave tonight while crew is fast asleep
Free the life boats, as we let them drift out to sea.)
On shore leave, surely, you needn't give Olive a call
Find a port, get some hookers, line 'em up and bang 'em all
(But Olive is your only woman. Don't you dare betray her
Take a walk to the dock and f** a bunch of sailors.)
You know that dude named "Wimpy"?
That p**y you let hang around has abused your kindness too long
It's time that you beat him down
(It would hardly be a fair fight, wouldn't you say?
Don't you beat him up today; you should do it Tuesday.)
Now listen. It sickens me to see you eat that spinach
Here, I've got some greasy cheesy fries for you to finish
(Those won't make you strong; fatty foods you should avoid
Have some leafy greens, and you can chase them with these steroids.)
I'm the devil on your shoulder
(He's an evil doer soldier)
Like I told ya
(I'm the other devil on your other shoulder)
An enabler
(Facilitator)
Big mistake maker
(I'm the devil)
I'm the other devil
(On your shoulder)
On your other shoulder
(I'm the devil on your shoulder)
He's an evil doer soldier
(Like I told ya)
I'm the other devil on your other shoulder
(An enabler)
Facilitator
(Big mistake maker)
I'm the devil
(I'm the other devil)
On your shoulder
(On your other shoulder)
Now, you know that your woe's a true foe named Bluto
Should you go and k** him off you'd be better off with you know
(Oh, no! Don't go and murder him that's no punishment
Torture would be so much more apropos.)
But he's moving in on Olive and I think she kinda likes it
Nip it in the bud, spill their blood. Don't try to fight it
(You think she'd learn a lesson? Hmm... I'm guessing, hell no
Instead, go f** her sister, send her pictures from your cell phone.)
Sweetpea's crying. I can see it's got you bothered
Shut him up rub-a-dub in the tub under water
(Popeye, stop! My God! He's just a child
Float him down the river; they did it in the bible.)
God is of no relevance -- you're on another level
The answers that you seek are found worshiping the devil
(Well, that devil won't level with you. Salvation
Can only be obtained by proclaiming "Hail Satan!")
Now you're smiling
(Styling)
While you're
(Profiling)
You're flying
(High and)
The sun on you shining
(Your step springs)
Heart sings
(Bells ring)
Everything
(Is looking up)
Take a cup
(The world's your oyster)
Fill it up
(So glad I could help you out)
So glad that I could ease your doubt
(Well I suggest a better plan)
But he took my advice, my man
(I'm the one he told it to)
I'm the one he listened to
(Who are you?)
Who are you?
(Who are you?!)
That's your cue
(I'm the devil on your shoulder)
He's an evil doer soldier
(Like I told ya)
I'm the other devil on your other shoulder
(An enabler)
Facilitator
(Big mistake maker)
I'm the devil
(I'm the other devil)
On your shoulder
(On your other shoulder)
I'm the devil on your shoulder
(He's an evil doer soldier)
Like I told ya
(I'm the other devil on your other shoulder)
An enabler
(Facilitator)
Big mistake maker
(I'm the devil)
I'm the other devil
(On your shoulder)
On your other shoulder
(I'm the devil on your shoulder)
He's an evil doer soldier
(Like I told ya)
I'm the other devil on your other shoulder
(An enabler)
Facilitator
(Big mistake maker)
I'm the devil
(I'm the other devil)
On your shoulder
(On your other shoulder)
I'm the devil on your shoulder
(He's an evil doer soldier)
Like I told ya
(I'm the other devil on your other shoulder)
An enabler
(Facilitator)
Big mistake maker
(I'm the devil)
I'm the other devil
(On your shoulder)
On your other shoulder