We sat round the table upon Christmas Day
My brother said you should all know that I'm
Going for a drive can I borrow the truck
By the way mum and dad I think your both
Funny, No really I love you to bits
Grandma yelled Merry Christmas, and flopped out her
Tickets to a concert put on by Lou Rawls
Grandad stood up and said look at my
Christmas Day, Christmas Day
You never know what they are going to sing
We all went outside and were gazing at Venus
Someone remarked at the size of
Uran*s and Pluto and Saturn and Mars
What's that foul smell it's just Grandma's
Arsenic she keeps in a jar by the clock
She rubs some each night on your Grandfathers
Corns, which are painful from shoes that don't fit
and He feels relief when he sits down to
Christmas Day, Christmas Day
You never know what they are going to suggest
Well then we all went for a dip in the pool
Dad said to Grandpa you silly old
f**wit, you're f**ed you've f**ed off with me togs
Oh sh** now I've sworn and f**ed up the
song, Which was never meant to be this blunt
Oh f** this, get f**ed you're a big pack of
Christmas Day, Christmas Day
You never know what they are going to say