I don't want no h.i.v. I don't want no bullets inside of me I don't want no d.w.i. I don't want satan sticking that fork in my big eye I don't need no driveby in front of my crib I don't need your father to find out what I did Last night with you baby in the back of that cab In fact I don't even want to meet your dad I need a bullet-proof-body-rubber-evil-shielding-device Something that'll let me park my car When I'm f**ed up in the middle of the night I need a bullet-proof-body-rubber-evil-shielding-device Something that'll let me park my car When I'm f**ed up in the middle of the night Call you up the next day and act real nice I don't want to live on the mean streets of Chicago I don't want you to call me Bobo I don't need to watch t.v. twenty four hours a day I don't need some motherf**ing ad exec trying to tell me what to say I need a little more gravy on my potato
I need a little more pepper on my big ole pink tomato I need a little more treble in my stereo I need a little more blonde in my haireeeooo I need a bullet-proof-body-rubber-evil-shielding-device Something that'll let me park my car When I'm f**ed up in the middle of the night I need a bullet-proof-body-rubber-evil-shielding-device Something that'll let me park my car When I'm f**ed up in the middle of the night Call you up the next day and act real nice I need a risk free money back guarantee Don't need no problems hounding me I need to make sure my girlfriend's not got mafia ties Don't need nobody coming after me I need to make sure that I keep my door locked try to keep my gun stocked try to keep it co*ked try to keep it from firing Late at night at my head when I'm in bed trying not to think about the things that I said to you yesterday