It was the year 2040, Agent 387 had escaped to Canada using only an iPogoStick after his now Ex-Wife Bertha O'Neal turned on him. Fresh of his election win over Robo-Brian Adams, Prime Minister Bieber made 387 his right hand man. Agent 387 was enjoying some nice poutine when all of a sudden he saw a giant flying saucer.
“This has 387 written all over it,” he said to himself. The saucer landed on the hockey team, the Ottawa Senators', stadium. “That's five minutes in the penalty box!” Shouted a man on the street. Suddenly, there he was, a 9 foot tall green thing. He walked out of the saucer.
“Greenfinger…” groaned 387.
“‘Actually, my name is General Zorg,” he replied, “when you humans first see some enormous creature you have never seen before you look at their finger? That's very odd.”'
“You're supposed to introduce me now,” whispered a voice in the spaceship.
“‘Oh, right,” responded Zorg, “But we have a surprise for you 837!”'
“It's 387,” murmured the voice.
“I mean 387!”
“I'm baaack!”
“‘RoboHitler!?” screamed 387 in shock. “I thought I k**ed you last week!”
“‘Well, now I'm back,” countered RoboHitler, “But this time as a hologram! And I will make my next victim this random attractive woman!” Holographic RoboHitler tried to put the woman in a chokehold but he was a hologram so his hand went right through her.
“Why can't I grab her?” Holographic RoboHitler asked his alien henchman.
“Because holograms can not grab anything sir,” replied the henchman.
“Then you grab her!” Holographic RoboHitler screamed. The henchman put the woman in a chokehold, but 387 quickly reached for his ninja star and threw it at the henchman.
“‘Ouch!” cried the henchman. “Being a villain hurts!”' So he ran away and earned Canadian citizenship. Meanwhile 387 was with the attractive woman.
“You saved my life!” she told him.
““That's what I do for a living,” replied 387. “And what is your name?”
“Hot Girl #2,” she answered.
“What kind of name is that?” asked 387
“It was the name of who I played in Fast and Furious 27,” Hot Girl #2 replied. 387 then felt a soft tap on his back.
“‘Agent 387!” yelled Prime Minister Bieber. “The aliens are k**ing everyone! This is not very swag!”
“‘I'm on it sir,” echoed 387. He shot a rocket from his iPhone 20 and blew up the spaceship.
‘“Well, that's not ideal,” said General Zorg. “Yeet, we were staying here anyway!”'
“What the heck is a yeet?” Asked 387.
“Only 2010's kids understand” answered General Zorg.
“I am a 2010's kid but I still don't understand what a yeet is,” replied 387.
“Remember that one app Vine…” It was at that moment that General Zorg got sniped in the mouth by a member of the Canadian army.
“‘360 no-scope baby!”, screamed the soldier. “MLG confirmed.”'
“Did you really forget what yeet was?” asked Prime Minister Bieber.
“‘No,” replied 387. “It was all part of my plan.'”
“‘I hated it when people said yeet,” commented Prime Minister Bieber, “It was just annoying.”
“‘Yeah,” said 387, “Almost as annoying as swag.”
“What did you just say?” asked Prime Minister Bieber.
“I said it was almost as annoying as Swag,” answered Agent 387.
“You better shut your mouth, ey…”
“You guys realize we're still here, right?” an Alien interrupted. Suddenly 2 aliens snuck behind Agent 387 and Prime Minister Bieber and stabbed both of them in the back. With 387 gone now, the Aliens were able to wipe out the whole planet Earth, and the Canadian soldier never did a 360 no-scope again, nor was confirmed by the MLG.
The End ``