[DJ Oatmeal]
Pay attention - cla** is now in session
There's a test at the end so take notes of this lesson
Today's Lecturer - Professor Oatmeal talking sh**
You'd win award of the year for being a twit
I pop you like a zit - deflate your self esteem
Burst your bubble, hopes crumble to rubble, you awaken from your dreams
Cause it seems you never seen rhymes like these
I'll take you out like the trash or phone order Chinese
If I was a guitar solo, I'd be played by Brian May
If I was grain alcohol, I'd be Sapphire Bombay
Sans the juice, I cut loose, next to me you're a deuce
In the crapper, dead last rapper, bringing up the caboose
Cause I ran train on this verse, sent it home in a hearse
If you bet on me to win, you going home with the purse
Cursed to be worse than me, you ain't got the credentials
To be bona-fide, qualified so put down all your pencils
This Hip hop test is over, and I pa**ed it like I thundered
Past a semi in the left lane by going over hundred
Now get outta here"CLASS DISMISSED" you all got schooled
And I "tore the school down" and I peed in your pool!
[Da Reel MC]
One b**h, two b**h, red b**h, blue b**h
If it smells a little fishy, it's time to get a new b**h
Hey, where the hell am I at?
I woke up drunk in the trunk of an old Pontiac
They put a mic in my grill and said preach some truth
But first I need resuscitation, mouth to Vermouth
I got buckets, like Uncle Drew
I'll make you faint in the paint when I'm coming through
I drive this rap attack with a black Cadillac
I drop a load in the road like Jack Kerouac
And I got more ladies than Wilt the Stilt
They call The Pimping Hall of Fame the House that Chase Built
Had five pregnancy scares in the last two years
I'm sitting on different b**hes like it's musical chairs
Get me a beer!
[Saruman of Many Kronics]
Here's a gift that'll make you think, it's an early Rosh Hashanah
No it's a not a new greatest hits volume from Nirvana
It's the second installment of Saruman's chronicle
My lines are so fine, to read them you'll need a monocle
The secret word is "4 Broz"; keep an ear to the ground
When someone says the secret word; scream real loud
But you'll be cheering anyway, when we bust out a chorus
'bout Aperture Labs or Ashenvale Forest
This disk is no flop; read the rave reviews:
The greatest soph*more effort since Monster Blood II
They're at the top of their game, at risk of sounding overzealous
They've got hooks that'd make Dr. Hutchison jealous
"Mr. Phantom Menace, how do you do it?"
I learned everything I know from Mr. Bean and Pappy Drewit
Phasers Mr. Chekov; warp 10 Mr. Sulu
Frakkin' with me is like frakkin' with Cthulu
That's all I've got; time I went the way of Vader
See you in the funny papers; smell you later!