LOGAINNE (spoken)
I'd just like to take one moment to thank my two fathers
Who have been so supportive of me in all of my endeavors
Thank you dads!
CARL
We hate losers
DAN (spoken)
No one likes a loser!
CARL
Which is why
(spoken) we discipline
God hates losers!
DAN (spoken)
But he loves you!
CARL
Because losers do not know how to win
DAN (spoken)
And we have faith in you
CARL (spoken)
Yes we do!
DAN (spoken)
Yes we do!
CARL (spoken)
Go get ‘em!
LOGAINNE
I hope you can love me, America
(spoken) I'm gunning for first prize!
(sung) Here's why you should love me, America
My needs I cannot overemphasize
I make myself crazy
Being what my dads hope I'll be
But what about me dads?
What about me?
(spoken) Jesus Christ!
(sung) What about me?
CARL (spoken)
Practice your breathing, Logainne
LOGAINNE
Though I practice yoga
I don't breathe
I try not to disappoint
But still I
Disappoint the dads
Who my friends mock
Kids are mean
Kids'll talk
All my so-called friends roll their eyes
They're incredibly petty
Because my dads are my dads
And alright enough already
ALL
Woe is me
Woe is me
LOGAINNE
Which is why I gotta win
This spelling bee
CARL (spoken)
Take a picture for her BM
LOGAINNE (spoken)
Dad!
DAN (spoken)
Don't call her BM, Carl
CARL (spoken)
Sorry, her birth mother
LOGAINNE (spoken)
Peggy Jenkins!
DAN (spoken)
She'd be very proud if she could see you spell!
LOGAINNE
My birth mother lives in Kansas, Mo
In a trailer
In a park
ALL
Tornados
LOGAINNE
Every now and then
She sends a card
Life and men, she writes
Are hard
She would like to meet me
When I've grown and I've burst like a comet
But I'm so stressed
By my stress
I just wanna up and vomit
ALL
Woe is me
Woe is me
LOGAINNE
Which is why I gotta win
This spelling
ALL
Be smart
Be cool
Be an adult
Be remarkably a joy in social situations
LOGAINNE
Woe is Me
Woe is Me
ALL (overlapping Logainne)
Be smart, be cool
Be smart, be cool
Be smart, be cool
Be smart, be
LOGAINNE, DADS
Which is why I gotta win
This spelling bee
ALL (overlapping Logainne)
Which is why she's gotta win
This spelling bee