[Verse 1]
I'm sitting alone
Telling myself it's worth it
Staying up late
Writing
Trying to find purpose
It's bout as pointless as
Cursive
I'm bout as worthless as
Verses
I'm writing about this b****
I've been dying to
Break up with
But f*** it
I guess I've finally found
My inspiration
A medium for depression
I can enter any second
I've been waiting my whole life
Just to get to this moment
Now that I've got it
I'm realizing
That it's not what I wanted
And at the same time
I'm comfortable
Feeling painful and lonely
I apologize
For sounding
Stressed
Broken hearted
Half depressed
And mentally retarded
Even
Kru told me
That I should try to write it
Lighthearted
I'm sorry
But if I could
Then that's probably
How I'd have started
Off harder than I did
Because I'm really just a kid
Who's getting in touch
With his feelings
I Never thought that I'd show it
Nor spit it
So I spit it
The way I get it
And when I get it
I run with it
And when you're writing off of emotion
It's hard to have fun with it
And every single lyric
Is what I feel in the moment
I don't care about the structure
I'm basically freestyling
You want essay rhyming
Then go looking for the tyrants
I'm really
Not even a rapper
I just spend my time rhyming
See what separates me
Is that I'm not even trying
I just threw some s*** together
Then seen if people would buy it
Yea the lights
I eye it
And the ice
I'd buy it
But if I really feel into fame
Then I probably wouldn't like it
But I figured I'd try
Because all of these careers
Are uninviting
I would have
Been in college for science
Realizing that I was dying
Inside
But I guess it doesn't matter
Where
Because no matter what I pursue
I feel like I don't belong there
But this is all a n**** knows
And this all a n**** loves
So even though I belong on the bottom
I'll pretend to be above
[Verse 2]
Sometimes when I sit alone
I look at life through the scouter lens
And try to figure out
How in the h*** I started all of this
I go in and out
Deciding wether or not to be in the crowd
Because the crowd is filled with crows
And I see d**h behind the clouds
And my life's been a dark shroud of shadows
Ever since the senior year
And it's been clear to me
That I'm no longer who I used to be
I Failed cla**
Fell in love
Contemplated using d**
To get over everything that's ever mattered
And say f*** it
Kick bucket
When I'm sober
I'll pick it up before it's over
Told my alma matter
Life is what you make it
So I'll make it over
Riding in a stroller my whole life
When I made it out
I jumped into a roller coaster
Tried to hold the shouts
Being the baby in mans situation
Making the wrong decisions
And always being too patient
While ill-tempered
My current temperament
Is ill-measured
I measured all my blessings
And weigh them against the others
Like why couldn't I carry
Half of the pain for my loved ones
It's just wrong
To overlook being untroubled
While others go through more than double
What I'm sitting in
I'm sitting here
Wondering what I'm doing here
How can I make it easier
For people who I love
When they don't have it fair
We're charging fairs
Just to weigh outcomes
Tell me how come
Everyone can start to jog
And others can get outrun
Praying up to God
Like help them Lord
Let me help them Lord
And now I ask the Lord
Why'd it even have to happen to them
We're just babies
They didn't deserve the weight
And babies need love
These kids don't deserve the hate
We try to eat all we can
But they've got too much on their plate
Man we have
Monsters in this game of life
They don't deserve to play
Why don't you take the people
Who do wrong
Sooner than the good ones
Thugs don't hesitate to k**
And they're k**ing the shook ones
The ones with a conscience
Always dying from nonsense
Fell victim to society
And then resort to violence
Forced to live out countless
Hours
With no power
No power for lights
And no power to fight
We fight
Just to survive
So how can you
Kick back and thrive
That's the question that their asking
But I got nothing but pa**ion
To give them