{"Oi! Come here you little sh**; you ain't paid for your ticket!"}
[Chorus]
s** - My – Dick – Mr. Police Officer
s** – My - Dick – Mr. Police Officer
s** – My - Dick – Mr. Police Officer
Stick your badge up your a** and call my solicitor
[Danny Joey]
Once upon a time I's almost late for my new job
My train arrived as I did so I had to jump straight on
I got off at new street station and offered to buy a ticket
They said "you gotta pay a fine ‘Cause you're from Northfield, ennit"
I refused to co-operate – I told ‘em to f** off
But then I was stopped by this dick-head of a cop
He said make an appeal and everything'll be alright
So I made an appeal but the f**ing pig lied!
[Chorus] x2
s** - My – Dick – Mr. Police Officer
s** – My - Dick – Mr. Police Officer
s** – My - Dick – Mr. Police Officer
Stick your badge up your a** and call my solicitor
[Danny Joey]
That's the third time I been stopped by you pigs
In the space of a week What d'ya want from me?
D'ya want summin' to eat? Like a big slab of meat
Maybe jealous 'cause the third piggy had roast beef?
Dirty f**ing egg mcmuffin porking, bacon licking
Sausage s**ing , finger dunking punks
Can push me by the chest in their bullet-proof vests
Won't let me go even though I ain't under arrest
So here's what I wish I said
[Chorus] x2
s** - My – Dick – Mr. Police Officer
s** – My - Dick – Mr. Police Officer
s** – My - Dick – Mr. Police Officer
Stick your badge up your a** and call my solicitor
[Alternative Chorus]
Lick my clit, Mrs Police officer
Lick my clit, Mrs Police officer
Lick my clit, Mrs Police officer
Stick your taser up your vag' and call my lawyer!