It was on the good ship Venus
By Christ, ya shoulda seen us
The figurehead was a who*e in bed
And the mast, a mammoth penis
The captain of this lugger
He was a dirty bugger
He wasn't fit to shovel sh**
From one place to another
[Chorus:]
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was f** all else to do
The captain's name was Morgan
By Christ, he was a gorgon
Ten times a day he'd stop and play
With his f**in' organ
The first mate's name was Cooper
By Christ he was a trooper.
He jerked and jerked until he worked
Himself into a stupor
[Chorus]
The second mate was Andy
By Christ, he had a dandy
Till they crushed his co*k on a jagged rock
For cumming in the brandy
The cabin boy was Flipper
He was a f**in' nipper
He stuffed his a** with broken gla**
And circumcised the skipper
[Chorus]
The Captain's wife was Mabel
To f** she was not able
So the dirty sh**s, they nailed her tits
Across the barroom table
The Captain had a daughter
Who fell in deep sea water
And by her squeals we knew the eels
Had found 'er s**ual quarters
[Repeat Chorus to Fade]