I'm as sick as a Giraffe with a stiff neck
I smell like a postman's sock
I'm as busy as a Bosnian bricklayer
About as well known as Hugh Grant's co*k
I'm as tight as Cyril Smith's underpants
If I f** Posh Spice It'll cost her
And I know what I've done for this comedy
What Fred West did for Gloucester
I'm as sick as f**
I'm as sick as f**
Eeh I'm f**ing sick
I'm as sick as f**
I'm as sick as f**
I'm f**ing fed up
I'm as dry as a Rwandan's arsehole
Quicker than a rabbit's f**
I'm as sore as a honeymooner's fanny
I've never had OJ Simpson's luck
I'm as honest a Sting's accountant
George Best on a drinking binge
I'm as well hung a Michael Hutchence
And about as wet as Paula Yate's minge
I'm as sick as f**
I'm as sick as f**
Eeh I'm f**ing sick
I'm as sick as f**
I'm as sick as f**
I'm f**ing fed up
I'm as thick as two Mick Jagger's lips
About as wrinkled as John Boy's granny
I smell like a lavatory brush
I'm as big as Madonna's f**ing fanny
I've seen more pricks than a lavatory seat
I'm as welcome as the council tax bill
But don't take any notice of me
I'm a moaning fat c*nt and I'm ill
I'm as sick as f**
I'm as sick as f**
Eeh I'm f**ing sick
I'm as sick as f**
I'm as sick as f**
I'm f**ing fed up