I'd love to see Madonna in her knickers
Saddam Hussein blown to bits
I'd love to see my tax bills stuck up John Major's arse
But most of all, Dolly Parton's tits
Didn't that Fred West have more hair than f**ing brains?
Does Elton John really have a wig that fits?
But most of all, you know, I'd feel ten feet tall
If I could see Dolly Parton's tits
'Cos they're so big and soft and round
And they don't make a sound
And they'll go down great in history
I've a lump inside my pockets
Just thinkin' of Dolly's rockets
Well here it comes again this fantasy
I'd like to see Prince Hamed lose a fight just for once
Or Princess Fergi's ginger minge get nits
I'd like to hear the Queen say "this c*nt of a family's let me down"
And the whole of France get the f**ing sh**s
I'd like to see Michelle Phifer change her Tampax
Barrymore find a dick that actually fits
But most of all, I'd feel ten feet tall
If I could s** Dolly Parton's tits
'Cos they're so big and soft and round
And they don't make a sound
And they'll go down great in history
I've a lump inside my pockets
Just thinkin' of Dolly's rockets
Well here it comes again this fantasy
I'd like to know who the f** Alice is (Who the f** is Alice?)
I'd like to see OJ Simpson back in the dock
I'd like to see myself in bed with half a dozen tarts
I wish I'd had as many f**s as Bill Whyman's co*k
I'd love to see a midget get his arms round Cyril Smith
I wish this f**ing song'd become a hit
But most of all, I'd feel ten feet tall
If I could s** Dolly Parton's tits
'Cos they're so big and soft and round
And they don't make a sound
And they'll go down great in history
I've a lump inside my pockets
Just thinkin' of Dolly's rockets
Well here it comes again this fantasy
Well here it comes again this fantasy
Well here it comes again this fantasy
Well here it comes again this fantasy