[Version of the Game of Thrones opening]
[Chris Martin, to the tune of the GoT opening]
♪ There are Starks and there are Lannisters ♪
♪ and Kardashians in the -- ♪
[Will Champion]
Whoa! It's "Targaryens." Do it again.
[Chris Martin]
♪ -- and Targaryens, and of course there's some unknowns ♪
♪ Welcome to the crazy, wacky world of Game of Thrones. ♪
[Will Champion]
- Nice, I like it.
[Will Champion]
- Thanks man, cool.
[Liam Neeson narration]
In an exclusive Red Nose Day revelation, we've discovered that the British band are secretly working on a musical of TV sensation, Game of Thrones.
[Chris Martin]
This is the best idea we've ever had.
(guitar and vocals)
♪ Bom, bom, bom, bada tippidom.♪
(Chris Martin speaks while music
continues in background)
It's just been the most amazing
creative outpouring.
[Will Champion]
Trust me
♪ Bom, bom, bom, baba babadom ♪
Wait, wait, how many pappadums?
They're babadoms.
[Narration]
The band had been long-time fans of the show.
Bearded drummer Will Champion actually took time off at one point to act in the famous Red Wedding episode.
[Footage of "The Rains of Castamere" with an arrow pointing at Will Champion, while a bell dinging]
They've gathered in the Henson recording studio in Los Angeles to work up the 16 songs required for a full Broadway stage production.
(keyboard)
- Nice! Have you got any lyrics?
- Yeah.
♪ Around the world my heart had to roam ♪
[Mark Addy]
Well, when I first heard about it I was a little bit sceptical, but now I'm completely convinced:
it's a horrible idea.
♪ Closer to ho-o-ome ♪
[Diana Rigg]
It's the worst idea I've ever heard.
♪ A family tree ... ♪
(music continues as female voiceover begins)
[Emilia Clarke]
One word that springs to mind when I'm thinking about this project is "Titanic." But not in terms of the successful movie, in terms of the unsuccessful boat.
♪ Closer to home ♪
(band plays)
(piano music,)
Cut to: RAK Studios, London
[Narration]
Finally, after months of writing and planning, Chris has invited along the entire cast of Game of Thrones, to recruit them into the live Broadway show.
[Chris Martin]
Fellows, how ya doin'?
[Chris Martin]
I had a moment of inspiration, it was
a flash of genius -- get the whole cast to come in. Everyone thought it was a brilliant idea, so that's what's happening. It's a big day, big day for us.
[Narrator]
All the actors are gathering to hear the songs performed for the first time.
[Camera pans, the chairs are empty...]
Well, not all of them.
[... outside of Ewan Rewon and Mark Addy.]
More ... two.
[Mark Addy]
I was told Sean Bean was gonna be here. He owes me a fiver.
[Ewan Rewon]
Well, no, I don't think it is quite as many as the band would have hoped, but ... still a very exciting day!
[Chris Martin]
This is called "Rastafarian Targaryen."
(reggae music)
♪ Yi-yi-yi-yi ♪
♪ Rastafarian Targaryen ♪
♪ I got some dragons and they're
pretty scary-in ♪
(interviewer)
So Chris, how you think it's going?
[Chris Martin]
Stunning. Stunning. People are literally stunned.
(interviewer)
And what if some of them can't sing?
[Chris Martin]
Well, the funny thing is, they can sing.
[Cut to the band playing while Ewan and Mark sing along]
♪ Bom, bom, bom baba
♪
(Chris Martin)
......Snappy! Come on.
No, no, sorry, sorry.
(band member)
I'm sure he'll come back.
With these things it's always step by step.
Um, 50 percent of the cast seem
really into it, so, um ...
I think we're onto something
really special.
(piano)
(narrator)
It's been a slightly disappointing day. But then ...
[Kit Harington]
Hey Chris. I'm sorry I'm late.
[Chris Martin]
Oh my god. Jon Snow. I knew you'd come.
[Kit Harington]
I'd never let you down, man.
[Chris Martin]
Thank you, Jon Snow.
[Kit Harington]
It's Kit.
(Chris Martin whispers)
Thank you, Kit Snow.
[Kit Harington]
Right. What we got, man?
(music)
(narrator)
It's day two of the workshop,
(music in background)
and suddenly things take a turn for the better with a phone call from Jon Snow, and the offer of free food, a huge chunk of the cast have arrived.
- Hey man! Good to see you, man!
- Hi, how ya doin'? You too.
- Love your shirt, man.
- You look great.
(music, clapping)
(narrator)
It's been a very emotional morning.
[John Bradley]
I'll have the nuggets, please.
Yep, there's one left.
Oh, lovely!
[Thomas Brodie-Sangster ]
Ahh ... I sense this choice will not end well for you.
I would suggest the drumsticks.
[John Bradley]
Oh. Oh, well, drumsticks it is, then, apparently.
Cheers.
[Thomas Brodie-Sangster ]
I'll have the nuggets, please.
(band plays "Wild Thing")
♪ Wildling ♪
♪ you make my heart sing ♪
♪ you pull your bowstring ♪
♪ and shoot me ♪
♪ Wildling ♪
♪ Wildling, I think I love you ♪
♪ but I wanna know for sure ♪
♪ I wanna take you into that cave
and kiss you, baby, down there ♪
♪ and I've never done it before ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Wildling ♪
♪ Woo! ♪
♪ Wildling ♪
(cheering, applause)
[Chris Martin]
Really, really, really, really good. Just, um, one tiny thing.
On the "lings," just be careful, you're going a little bit flat, so ...
[Rose Leslie]
No he wasn't. You know nothing, Chris Martin.
[Rose seductively winks at Kit]
♪ If there's one thing Theon
might have taught you ♪
♪ (one thing I taught you) ♪
♪ is once I've caught you ♪
♪ (once he's caught ya) ♪
♪ there will be torture ♪
♪ (there will be torture) ♪
(narrator)
Old wounds are healed
as new songs are revealed.
♪ I'm a real ba*tard ♪
♪ (he's a bit of a master) ♪
♪ a little more mean ♪
(singing together, out of tune)
♪ a little more mean ... ♪
♪ than anyone you've ever seen ♪
♪ (ever seen, anyone you've ever seen) ♪
OK, so, Red Wedding. We're all pa**ionate
about this one, as you know.
(piano)
It starts very serious.
♪ You don't mess around with Walder Frey ♪
♪ (You don't mess around with Walder Frey) ♪
♪ don't mess around with Walder Frey ♪
(narrator)
Every style in the musical canon is captured in one day of blazing glory.
(song ends)
Beautiful. Nice,
♪ If you're here for the wedding
of Robbie Stark ♪
♪ keep the car running,
there's no need to park ♪
♪ He's not going to make it
through the ni-i-ight ♪
♪ Keep that wedding cake in the fridge ♪
♪ He didn't pay me back
for using the bridge ♪
♪ I'm afraid this wedding won't be whi-i-ite ♪
♪ bom, bom, bom, baba babadum ♪
♪ Red Wedding, Red Wedding ♪
♪ lots of stabbing and a bit of beheading ♪
♪ The Rains of Castamere are here to stay ♪
♪ Red Wedding, Dead Wedding, ♪
♪ a head shredding, bloodshed wedding ♪
♪ There will be no wedding bedding ♪
♪ Hey ... you don't mess around
with Walder Frey ♪
Bang -- curtains -- Tony award. Great.
(cheering)
(narrator)
News of the success of the workshop spreads like wildfire. Suddenly, everyone is in.
[Emilia Clarke]
D'you know what, I've never been prouder to be in anything. I always knew it was gonna be a triumph. George R. Martin meets Chris Martin -- what could go wrong?
(reggae music)
♪ Game 'a what now? ♪
♪ Call me Daenerys Targaryen
when you wanna reach me ♪
♪ and if you feel the love then you can
call me Khaleesi ♪
♪ Got so many names, I'm Queen of the Andals ♪
♪ Queen of the Meereen, yeah,
you can kiss me sandals ♪
♪ a branch of our own ... ♪
The funny -- I mean, it's, I know it's
like a musical,
but I can also hear it like, I can hear it
in the radio, I can hear it everywhere.
- It's like, it's a hit!
- It's a big song. It's a big song.
(narrator, over piano)
Raw emotion pours out from
every corner of the room.
♪ Are you thinking 'bout Joffrey? ♪
♪ Such a spirited lad ♪
♪ I was his uncle ♪
♪ I was also his dad ♪
(narrator)
It's the first romantic ballad
about incest in Coldplay's career.
♪Now I'm looking for something
A little closer to home
Closer to home
Closer to home
A family tree
With a branch of our own ♪
(Narrator)
The greatest rock opera of our time is coming together.
Still going strong (He's still going strong)
Yeah, yeah (He's still going strong)
Remember Ned Stark, he was a lot of fun. (So fun)
But he didn't make it past Season One (Oh no)
Some people's parts just ain't that long
But not me (Not me, not me, not me)
I'm still going strong (He's still going strong)
[Chris Martin]
I can't believe it. It's a dream come true. Every thing's come together, everyone's on board, we just need George R. R. Martin's permission and we're off to go. He's going to go absolutely crazy.
(Poster for Game of Thrones: The Musical, with the tagline "Coldplay Is Coming" as the narration returns)
And Chris was right. George R. R. Martin did go absolutely crazy.
(the poster gets a huge "CANCELLED" banner over it)
[Chris Martin]
It's a setback. But a bit of this, a bit of that, change the words around... I mean, I got plenty of ideas.
(The camera pans past some posters for alternatives for the GoT musical: Downtown Abbey: The Opera, Breaking Bad: The Ballet, and Taken On Ice.)
(Narrator)
Huh. Well, that's not bad.
(Liam Neeson then appears in his recording booth.)
Well, better get my skates on!