[Intro]
Welcome to Hell!
As you can tell not even Zack Morris can be Saved by the Bell
Yo check my flow
This a cypher so I got to spit it harder then any other
Word to your mother
I rap that's what I do and if you're smart you can do it too
Y'all should know what my name is
[Verse]
J to the r, all I got is bars
You know I be spitting that feugo like there's no tomorrow
Saving this rap game like a superhero because these new rappers are hella cheesy, Dorito
I'm incognito when I see a hoe at my show because you never know if she's a psycho or an nympho
Here I go busting a flow something you ain't never heard before
As soon as I roll through the door I see a bunch of drunk who*es on the floor watching Jersey Shore
Reyes Celaya ain't no liar when I say I used to be in choir
sh**, no wonder why I can spit that fire
I'd rather be rapping then to be in a jail cell pa**ing the wire
In school I was cool making all the ladies drool
Getting in trouble for bull and to the girl who claimed I ran her over b**h, why you lying?
Was it because when you tripped over my chair you started crying?
It's all good maybe I should have
I haven't trusted a girl ever since that Jennifer chick so if I seem like a prick it's 'cause I am and whoever don't support me on being a rapper f** 'em
People say I got problems but can anyone solve 'em?
I just got to get my point across
Sitting criss-cross applesauce like a boss but don't call me Rick Ross
My heart's cold like Jack Frost
I done lost my mind trying to find words that rhyme to express how I'm feeling at this time
All I know is haters can't see me like they blind
That catch phrase sounds familiar
Well no duh I got it from John Cena
Wouldn't want to be ya
Screamin wooo like Ric Flair
f** with me if you dare
You may think I'm evil when I say I hate people but I'm anti-social so if people start asking questions and then yo no habla Ingles
Pinche pendejos, mi color favorito es rojo
No tengo tiempo para jotos
No juego con migo porque sabes qué soy loco en la cabeza y mi lápiz es on la mesa
Look at me speakin' Spanish like I'm bilingual
This maricòn won't leave me alone so as soon as I get home I'm going straight on the phone to find my comfort zone
Puto, I'm going bananas so you better watch out Hannah Montana 'cause I'm coming for ya
Go to Atlanta just to remix "Panda"
After that go to Columbia just to tell Sofia Vergara "I miss ya"
As long as we make " Nothin' Into Somethin'" my theme song we're all good
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
See, I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish but if you wish the witch wishes I won't wish the wish you wish to wish 'cause Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where are the pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
You see, a problem of solving a problem is not a problem, but when a problem solves another problem without any problem, then the problem is not at all a problem
There's a couple tongue twisters for you b**hes and snitches
All this public intoxication makes me want to take a vacation
I wonder if it would be complicated to be educated while intoxicated
Will we ever know?
I don't think so
If I offended you take me on Judge Judy puto
Gotta go harder than Dwayne Carter
I ain't nothing nice
You can call me Penny wise because we all float in a boat
We all know Eminem's the "G.O.A.T."
Smoke weed and I'll make you bleed listening to Creed and performing evil deeds
Pill popping Baclofen like it's nothing but you must be trippin' if you think I'm going to become a junkie, you crazy
The day that happens is the day I say " Hey Dad, let's get drunk as a skunk and start complaining about every little thing like a b**h who's on her period"
Everyone knows b**hes be tripping, word to Byanca Cancinos
No doubt that was a shout out
Talk about me and I'll have your a** backwards like Bob and Silent Jay
On my way to Circle K some dumb a** always got to be in the way
Donald Trump is nothing but a chump who needs to get kicked in the rump until he starts running like Forrest Gump
Watch what you say 'cause I just might smack that toupee off your head someday
Gotta keep it clean like I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in order to get radio play some day
Roll up to Kanye West and say ''Excuse me Mr. Kanye but what do you think about Beyonce?
You make me wanna vomit into a toilet after you said you was going to run for president in 2020"
That sounds kinda scary
I'm a combination of Eminem, SPM, and Mac Miller
Better watch your girl 'cause I just might steal her
Take her to a movie theater to watch a thriller
Picture this, always dreaming of car crashes till I wake up wanting to scream and realize that it was just a dream
Capture the dream I am cla** of 2014
I don't smoke, I don't drink and I don't do d** because I'd rather give girls hugs
You can call me CM Punk because I'm straight edge
I'm the type of guy who would be talking someone out of jumping off a ledge
I'm the Lord Voldemort of rap
If people wanna talk crap about my rap then best believe they gonna get slapped
Why you looking at me like I k**ed Kenny?
It's not like I said saggin' backwards you little turds
Here I'll say it for you "You ba*tards"
You know me the one and only person that calls every girl honey till they start trippin' like they on medication
b**hes stop trippin' 'fore I take you on Hell's Kitchen and have Chef Ramsay teach you a lesson
Do I sound like Lil Wayne?
Do I sound like T-Pain?
I'm insane I'll shoot you in your brain
I didn't ask out Stephanie Marie Rains
Gotta make sure you know my name like my name was 2 Chainz
"Oh, look here we got another white boy trying to start a rap career! Must be a Eminem wannabe"
f** you b**h you don't know me
It's not all about race
I'll punch you in your face
You just mad 'cause you can't keep up at the same pace
What a disgrace
Since The Weeknd can't feel his face maybe it needs to be replaced
If I ever say that beer's delicious just know that I was being facetious
Curious why you furious
Hi, my name is Reyes and I know that one day y'all will be bumping this
Got y'all "Trapped In The Closet" like R.Kelly is
This prostitute thinks she's cute but if she don't go on mute I'ma shove my boot in her a** so fast that she's going to be upset that it didn't last
Like Bieber said go and "Love Yourself" with your narcissistic a**
But hey, I ain't never seen a a** like that
Watch out 'cause I'ma perro tryna chase that cat
I'm a ladies man and I got a plan
Oh yeah and I'm a Eminem fan so I guess that makes me a "Stan" but don't expect me to be your "Superman" 'cause I don't like the sound of getting tied down by some skank from around town
If b**hes start trippin' I'll slap them like Chris Brown
If you think I love any chick you're stupid
Your boy better get shot in the a** with love arrows by Cupid
Who do I look like?
Captain save a hoe?
No!
That's a rhetorical question but can I have your attention?
What's up with all this tension between us?
Where is the trust?
Honey, you ain't never met nobody like me
You see, I've been pimpin' since the age of 3 with my pants all the way down to my knees in 103 degrees
Oh geez
Roll up on you like Christopher Reeve
As soon as your Mom leaves we can be like Selena and the Biebs
I don't smoke trees even though it's legalized where I'm from
I'd rather have an addiction chewing gum
You calling me dumb?
You're a bum
That's why your girl's mouth is full of my cum and after she swallows
All she can say is yum
You ain't got nothing on me son, I'm just trying to have fun
Heard you were rubbin' p**y the wrong way kind of like poor dykin' so I came in strikin'
Grabbed my Spear and told your girl like Scorpion "Get over here"
I think she had a little bit too much beer because she's telling me how much she likes Spider-Man so you know I had to park my Peter inside her
Wouldn't want to mess with the
Bieber 'cause he might be a heartbreaker
I came to destroy so if anyone ever disses me you know I'm a pull out my wand and Avada Kedavra on a boy
Dissin' me is just like dissing Slim Shady
I have an evil twin just give me a pen so I can go in
With all this adrenaline in my skin I'm feelin like a boxer and my best friend Crystal Denise Enriquez likes it when I mock her
Just as long as she don't turn into a stalker in a walker I won't have to shove her into a locker
I wish a mother f**er would but that's only if we could
Now I got people bowing their head like they saying grace and sh**
Looking like a little a** kid throwing a fit
I'm a mess but I don't give a f**, f**, f**
My bad, I must have tourettes
If Michael Jackson was still alive I'd go to Neverland Ranch with a branch and beat him with it for just a little bit
"How are you going to talk about a dead guy?''
Because I'm a bad guy
Whoever thinks I'm whack can lick my nutsack and kiss my a** crack 'cause you know once I get on a track it's going to go down to the ground even if I sound like Sid the sloth
k**ing all you like a moth
You know it's a myth if you think I'm a be the next Will Smith because I use profanity like an OG in every sentence I write
b**h, everything's alright
I'm in art drawing Bart in a cart throwing darts at people's hearts
Am I coming up short Kevin Hart?
I write with my left hand as I demand that all boy bands be terminated
Back when Justin Bieber got discovered all little girls were infatuated
To let them know I'm the man I'll send them all to Azkaban
Come back as Sirius Black to attack a track
Looking for a girl with a pretty nice rack
Got people scared to say my name like Voldemort 'cause they know I rhyme hardcore
I'm a parselmouth from the south
On a journey with Hermione Granger and don't worry we're guarded by the Dementors
Come any closer and they'll s** out your soul
To make it in this rap game is my only goal
Yo mama so stupid she brought a spoon to the Superbowl
The number one rule is do not believe anyone's bull
Don't get it twisted I can be cruel especially if you call me a cripple It's simple I'll just pop you like a pimple
Draco Malfoy ain't got nothing on me
Turn him into a ferret like Mad Eye Moody did in the movie
End of story
I'm Chillin like a villain and on this mic I'm k**in' every mother f**in' co*k s**in' hater because that is my mission
Eminem, I wrote you but you still ain't callin'
I've got your poster on the wall and I've been wanting to be a rapper ever since I was 7
Hit me up and let me know what's happenin'
[Outro]
Oh yeah, if you don't represent the 7-0-2 like I do then f** you and your whole crew and if anyone's planning on dissing me that's something I wouldn't to do 'cause that would be the last of you, b**h