Intro
After I shot myself I was conscience. I couldn't see, I heard everything. I heard my boyfriend screaming. So I remember feeling around, the recoil of the weapon was so powerful it took me from being on my hands and knees, To sitting on the bed, it threw me on the bed. And I remember the first thing I thought was, oh my god, I did it, I did it. I can't believe I did it
Verse 1
I'm so tired of falling
If this Tylenol could numb the pain or extra strength but a firearm would
I got a friend who survived the shot
Suicide, humans die, say goodbye then say hi to God
She said a prayer 'fore she pulled the trigger:
"Lord if it be your will, I apologize so please forgive me"
Then the hammer clicked
The devil and his demons laugh entertainment like they're staring through a camera lens
She's on the doctor's table operating
She said that's when she left the body
Nurses screaming like they lost a patient
And she woke up in hell so goes the tale
That it was hotter than the barrel of the gun she shot her face with
And to make things even worse
She can hear herself falling while they calling out a name that wasn't even hers
And she's like dang I'm dying
And no one even knows my name
What a shame that I am
Like an insane asylum the way they tie me to this bed and stich my face together
My names a waste of letters
Colder than the late December
That's when she heard God say: "I did not forget you, I know your name and I would twice hang on that cross to get you. And the scars on your face I'ma leave you with are there to remind you that from this day it's for me you live."
And her story is so bittersweet
Cause I know if God can deliver her
Than surely he'll deliver me
(Chorus)
I'm sitting in my room and I wonder what it is that you see when you look at me
Is this how it is? I don't wanna pretend like I'm something that I'll never be
Lord pick me up cause I don't wanna to fall again
And save me, save me, from this prison in my head
(Verse 2)
So there's no one else to blame or point the fingers at
If life's a sad sad song than where the singers at?
Love just flies away
I guess that's why these artists always seems to draw the red heart with the wings attached
Life is short time is borrowed like the tweaker who just never brought my speakers back
Mr. Deacon, please don't put me where the preacher sat
Cause I don't own a suit, and just might stain your carpet
Cause lately to be honest
All this dirt I've been walkin' in has turned my sneakers black
My wife's the best of me
And I'm the weaker half
If life's a recipe
I'm sick of eating that
Become the d**h of me
This pure ecstasy so let it be
Put that on everything that Jesus has
But thou shall not swear
So my words are locked there
In a freezer bag
They just melt away
Talk is cheap
Can't afford to pay if there is hell to pay
So I'm feeling kind of nervous
And my stomachs turning
At the dinner table like I'm hoping someone else can pray
All my selfish ways
I've been caught red handed
Like the kid who stuck his hands in the velvet cake
(Chorus)
(Verse 3)
Yeah, kids look up to me
It's like they think I'm perfect
See I'm drowning barely breathing trying to reach the surface
They say my songs speak to 'em like I'm preaching sermons
And the pastor at his church sounds like he's speaking German
But I just wonder if he knows
That I got problems of my own
And I'm following this road
But I ain't perfect neither
That's why I need God
His grace keeps me from flippin' out at my wife
And packing my bags at night to leave her
And trust me I done thought about it
And not one homey was around that I could call on like "Dog, I'm drowning."
They just left me drinking oceans
Trying to swallow mountains
Walking the tightrope during an earthquake I'm all off balance
But I'm convinced that he was there when no one else was
Satan gives the evil stare but Romans 1 says I am not ashamed
And I am not ashamed
So even when it's all over I still overcome
(Chorus)