Well, Fred was a dog I used to own He used to answer the telephone And every now and then, he'd take the truck into town for groceries Yeah, Fred and I got along real well At the checker board, ol' Fred was hell And he never minded taking turns at doing the dishes Now when Fred was just about three years old He started acting kind of bold And he's chasing after that beagle down across the highway Well he's down there every day and night I said, "Fred, you know you're gonna have to fight" He said, "I've already whipped everything between here and the railroad" (Chorus) Fred, you are a good dog But the women got you rinnin wild and crazy as a loon Fred, you are a good dog But you're chsing cars, hanging out at bars and howling at the moon Well now, one night old Fred came stragglin' in He's looking bad but he's pulling a grin He said "'Mone, I just took a wife and I want you to meet her" Now she didn't really have much to say And it's plain to see she's in a family way
She said, "Fred, you better whip on back and get my suitcase" Well Fred never made it to the other side 'Cause right in the middle of the road he died Flattened by a trucker hauling dog food. Now old Fred's gone and she's living here Just yappin' at her kids and drinkin' my beer And she don't drive the truck nor do the dishes (Chorus) Fred, you were a good dog But you never knew when to chase 'em or when to turn around and run Yeah Fred, you were a good dog But now you're flat out on the freeway and drying in the sun Now old Fred's gone and I'm kinda glad 'Cause if he were here now he'd sure be mad 'Cause ain't one of them pups looks anything like him (Chorus) Yeah Fred, you were a good dog But you never knew when to chase 'em or when to turn around and run Oh Fred, you were a good dog But now you're flat out on the freeway and drying in the sun Flat out on the freeway and drying in the sun