A good evening to you all. In place of your beloved Rap Critic, I will be stepping in this October to guide you through the darker recesses of Hiphop, the blood-stained corners and crevices that turn the most sane individual to madness. I go by many names, striking fear in the hearts of men and excitement in the hearts of women, but the one I've taken the most liking to is Black Thunder, the ghost of Isaac Hayes, and this month, we will dwell amongst the most haunting lyrics in Hiphop, the sounds that send chills into the souls of men, and rattles their very faith in humanity. Starting things off right, I will begin with the Top 6 Most Haunting songs in Hip hop. Why top six? *chuckles* I think you figure it out. These are tunes of terror, songs that not only jump-scare you like so many cheap horror flicks, no, I mean songs that carve their dark thoughts into your psyche, making you just that much more reluctant to turn off the lights on pitch black evenings. These are songs you put on when you not only want to spook your guests, these are songs you put on when you want them to gaze at you in wise eyed, slack jawed shock of your twisted choice in music. I'm actually serious, the songs I'm about to show you will not be the Rap version of the Monster Mash, we're about to get into some serious sh**, my friends. We will be covering some demented material, so I'll actually have to deliver a trigger warning for this episode and some of these songs. I mean it, if you have weak constitutions for violent or s**ual themes, you may want to stop watching right now. So, having been fairly warned, let's get started
Top 6 Most horrifying rap songs:
6 2 Pac "Hail Mary"
Now, the creepiest thing about the song, isn't necessarily the lyrics themselves, it's about the beat, the delivery of the rhymes, and the context within which this song was released
Come with me
Hail Mary n***a, run quick see
What do we have here now
Do you wanna ride or die
You see, all his career, he had been obsessed about his own d**h and what would happen to him if he was murdered, and then, once he actually was k**ed, a couple of months later, the music video for this song came out, complete with Bells resembling tolls of d**h, cryptic lyrics coupled with whispering and screaming, and a video about Makaveli, his new rap name, calling back to Machiavelli, rising from the grave and enacting revenge on his enemies
Bow down, pray to God, hoping that he's listening
Seeing n***as coming for me, through my diamonds, when they glistening
Now pay attention: bless me please Father, I'm a ghost
In these k**ing fields, Hail Mary, catch me if I go
Let's go deep inside the solitary mind of a madman
Screams, in the dark, evil lurks, enemies, see me flee
This whole package was just too real to not be playing into a bigger conspiracy about 2Pac's possible return or revenge upon his enemies
However, as creepy and unsettling as 2Pac's presence is on this song, there's a couple of things that keep it from being higher on this list. Those things would be the guest verses
They got a APB out on my thug family
Outlawz run these streets like these scandalous freaks
Yeah, whereas Pac weaves a pensive, enigmatic, nightmarish picture with his rhymes and delivery, and giving off a fearful vibe that's works in the sense of a slowly boiling psychotic episode, the other guys, just rap with the typical thug bravado
Peep the whole scene and whatever's going on around me
They just don't seem to be treating it like the brooding, gloomy track that it is. I mean, sure, they're both just spitting gangsta raps about d**h and murder, but they do it with no sense of subtlety or nuance
We've been traveling on this weary road
Sometimes life can take a heavy load
Oh yeah, and then this guy shows up…
We won't worry, everything well curry
Yes we free like the bird in the tree
We running from the penitentiary
I don't know who this guy is, or why the felt they needed to put him on the song, but it's not as threatening as they think it is… also, this was oddly enough the second song with a music video where 2Pac threatens someone else while his friends spit subpar rhymes while a Jamaican guys meanders around vocally on the outro
*show "Hit Em Up"
I don't know why that was such a specific thing…
5
Geto Boyz "Mind plain tricks"
I sit alone in my four-cornered room staring at candles
Now this is one of the quintessential Hip Hop tracks of the 90's, and a very interesting one at that, as it was a subdued depiction of mental health issues in the ghetto
At night I can't sleep, I toss and turn
Candlesticks in the dark, visions of bodies being burned
Four walls just staring at a n***a
I'm paranoid, sleeping with my finger on the trigger
Now, I don't think that was what they were actively trying to show us, like it wasn't supposed to be an after school special type rap lesson about how mental health issues affects people, but by them just writing a song about paranoia and delusional hallucinations, it comes across that way
He owns a black hat like I own
A black suit and a cane like my own
And this line in particular is pretty jarring, because his verse is about being watched by someone, but by him describing someone who dresses just like him, I'm forced to a**ume he's ultimately saying he's afraid of himself, which can be seen as a physical manifestation of being afraid of what his own mind is doing to him. Now, I always found it interesting that Scarface had two verses. It's like he was so haunted by his troubles that he just wasn't done by the the end of the first verse, switching from a verse about paranoia to a verse about depression
Day by day it's more impossible to cope
I feel like I'm the one that's doing dope
I often drift while I drive
Having fatal thoughts of suicide
Bang and get it over with
And then I'm worry-free, but that's bullsh**
But while Scarface's verse deals more with being afraid of yourself and being unwell, Willie D's verse deals more directly with being afraid of others taking revenge on him, that what 's done could come back to haunt him
Is it that fool that I ran off the block
Or is it that n***a last week that I shot
Or is it the one I beat for five thousand dollars
Thought he had caine but it was Gold Medal flour
He then tells us of a specific event where he got paranoid:
But late at night something ain't right
I feel I'm being tailed by the same s**er's headlights
But then, of course, his fear is quelled by what's really happening
Here they come just like I figured
I got my hand on the motherf**ing trigger
What I saw'll make your a** start giggling
Three blind, crippled and crazy senior citizens
Wait, they were all blind? How the hell were they driving? But anyways, my favorite verse is probably Bushwick Bill's
This year Halloween fell on a weekend
Me and Geto Boys are trick-or-treating
Robbing little kids for bags
Till a law man got behind our a**
So we speeded up the pace
Took a look back and he was right before our face
Because whereas the other two talk about a threat that's far away and too hazy to make out, Bushwick tells us about a seemingly real event that involved someone actively getting up close and personal. And with the others, you say to yourself, "well, they're obviously just paranoid, nothing is actually attacking them", with his verse, sh** is going down
He'd be in for a squabble no doubt
So I swung and hit the n***a in his mouth
But then, it turns out, even though Bushwick details the most real danger that any of them were talking about, apparently, none of it actually happened
The more I swung, the more blood flew
Then he disappeared and my boys disappeared too
Then I felt just like a fiend
It wasn't even close to Halloween
My hands were all bloody, from punching on the concrete
Now, where you could say that this verse was just showing us a stereotypical "crazy" person, having a hallucination, I think that in the environment the geto boys were from, this verse might have been delving more into the idea of hallucinogenic d** playing a role in exacerbating their paranoia (I mean, he literally says, "I felt just like a fiend"), which sounds about right since according to Scarface, who originally wrote this verse for himself, he has brought up before that he had been experimenting with d** since he was a child
If I were to be nit-picky, though, I would have to say that a major place where the songs fails to be truly scary is the beat itself. It's kinda… not doing a good job of helping portray this schizophrenic, paranoid atmosphere. It's a little too upbeat and funky to work on it's own, but in this case, the lyrics more than make up for that
4
Now, this next one is a newer song one from Tyler, the Creator
*play "Yonkers"*
Now, at first, you might think I'd b=put Yonkers or something like that on this list, but, honestly, that song was more random and scattershot than it was actually scary..
"I'm a f**ing walking paradox, NO I'M NOT"
I mean, that's not as scary as much as it is just comically contradictory
No, to me, the song the inflicts the most troubling vibes is this one:
Tyler The Creator - She
New girl moved on the block
She been plottin' on my brown co*k
Okay, maybe that line is more awkward than creepy, but I'm talking about the entire premise of the song. See, the first verse is rapped by Frank Ocean, detailing him meeting a new girl in the neighborhood, and while he, being the smooth player he is, has s** with her basically that same day, there's another guy that wants her, too, and he doesn't have a problem making that fact known
During s**, I overheard
A sword sliced the air, I pulled out the na-na
Rolled off the bed, then shot back, pow-pow
Looked out the gla**, seen him sprintin' on the gra**
A real ninja with the blade and the mask
We are then introduced to this madman in ninja gear, as played by Tyler, the Creator, the weirdo obsessed with the girl in question
The blinds wide open so he can
See you in the dark when you're sleepin'
Naked body, fresh out the shower
You touch yourself after hours
Ain't no man allowed in your bedroom
You're sleeping alone in bed
But check your window, he's at your window
*shivers*
Now, when Tyler finally does start rapping, his style is very calm, yet with small interjections of frustrated screams, as if his rage over this girl is barely being held back like so much bile in a sewer about to overflow and spill into the streets, as he raps about desperately wanting this girl for himself
Night light hits off, turnin' kisses to bites
I'mma down to Earth n***a, with intentions, that's right
You'll be down in Earth quicker if you diss me tonight
But I'll be the happiest if you decide to kick it tonight
It's a frightening peek into the psyche of a mentally unstable person when they fall in love with someone, because once he's attracted to her, she has no choice other than either to be with him, or be murdered
One, two, you're the girl that I want
Three, four, five, six, seven, sh**
Eight is the bullets if you say no after all this
And I just couldn't take it, you're so motherf**in' gorgeous
This is it's own particular brand of creepy, because with a lot of horror, the idea is that someone did something in their past that they're paying for, but here, the girl in question hasn't done anything wrong deserving of the pursuit of this maniac short of having the misfortune of being seen as attractive to a psychopath. The scariest thing about this song though, is that plenty of people, in their youth, have been to this place in some form or fashion. To be young and not understand your feelings, and to get so angry that you can't have someone that you begin to resent them, someone that you, at one point, believed you were in love with
We can chill and I can act like I don't wanna f**
You can tell me all your problems like I really give one
Or, someone that you honestly just want to have s** with, because you're only physically attracted to them, which is probably more likely… But the true horror comes from not how different this character is from us as what we would consider being normal, but how similar he is to us, how his wants resemble ours: the longing to be loved, the sting of being rejected and the way you wish you could make them feel your pain to satisfy a misplaced sense of wanting to get back at them for rejecting you. This song is that irrational feeling taken to it's illogical extreme
Baby you're gorgeous
I just wanna drag your lifeless body to the forest
And fornicate with it but that's because I'm in love with you
To it's… VERY illogical extreme… To make things even more uncomfortable, that's actually his ex-girlfriend in the video…
*shivers*
3 gravediggaz "Diary of a Mad Man"
Okay, now some would say that Geto boyz invented the genre of horror core. Well, if they invented it, then the Gravediggaz perfected it with their song "Diary of a Mad Man"
Bear witness as I exercise my exorcism
The evil that lurks within the sin, the terrorism
Now, when making this list, I wanted to stray away from songs that were too typical as horror core: hack and slash rap songs that just talked about randomly running around chopping up bodies and shooting people in the face like a serial k**er with no motive, basically, I wanted to review songs that were a little more than:
"Murder murder murder, and KILL KILL KILL!*
However, if there's one song I can make an exception for, it's this one
I saw the torture brutal murder of my father
So my brain became stained with the horror
I'm having reoccurring nightmares
Of being soaking wet, strapped down to the electric chair
The imagery they use here goes beyond hacking and slashing, it's just outright clinically insane. Some of this stuff is straight out of a Stephen King novel
On your right side there's fire, your left, deep waters
Watch your step, it's steep quarters
What's that coming through the floor? It's a claw
*pssh* took his f**ing a** to the f**ing core
(ahhh!!)
And I of course, have to give my favorite verse to the Rza, who delivers the most intricately horrifying verse of them all:
I got tackled with handcuffs and shackled in restraint
At the bottom of a holy tabernacle
And sewed my eye lids open so I couldn't sleep
About to die from thirst, that's when the minister
Quenched my jaws with a cold gla** of vinegar
Upon my wounds they seasoned me with salt
And nailed my hands feet to the form of a cross
Ahh!! I cry
As the blood drips inside of my eye refusing to die
….Jesus…
Not much can be said about this one, other than the fact that the rhymes and beats connect perfectly to make the ideal horror song you could play to scare the crap out of people based purely on their horrific imagery
2
"The Tunnel" Jakki the Motamouth
Well, what better way to celebrate a time of evil and d**h than by going straight to hell?
Y'all might not know about this guy, but he had a pretty slept on album back in '05 called God vs. Satan, in which Jakki the Motamouth must go through 6 different scenarios to prove whether or not he will either fight on God's side or join Satan's army. It's a dark ,twisted yet creative album that I suggest you all give a listen to some time, but at the crux of it is a song called the tunnel, about Jakki getting in a car crash and descending to the depths below
"I've heard of this light before, some stated that it was amazin'
So tell me why I'm afraid and this light looks more like a blazin' fire
This is Hell, I just entered the gates
First emotion I experienced was anger and hate
Blaspheming God for sending me to such a dangerous place
Now I'm here and there's torture as far as the eye can see
I can not believe I was deceived
And, along with a sad, plodding gloomy beat, filled with appropriately hellish sound effects, the man goes into such intricate detail, it's breathtaking
I'm here for a lifetime, and that's what saddens me
More than the fire that's burning my kneecaps
Or the demons that randomly beat cats
But never can you sleep, bugs will forever eat at your tissue
With you left with meat hanging from chest to cheeks
I'm seein' creatures from movie flicks, they really do exist
In demon form, it truly is the spookiest
And to top it all off, near the ends, he meets someone he was probably not expecting to see…
I see a man with what appears to be a bible
Dressed like a deacon, and he's preachin' and seems to be teachin' a group
"Why did you leave me, man?" I said to this cat
Like I'm mad, cause the fact is, this cat is my dad
He explained to me how he used to steal from the church
Slept around with quiet women, had a strong crack addiction
It ultimately comes together to make a dense, mind-rattling experience, and for the full impact, I suggest listening to the whole album, but by itself it's still one eerie track
1
Dance with the Devil" Immortal Technique
Remember when I said we're about to get into some serious sh**? Yeah, this is exactly what I meant by some serious sh**
Dance forever with the devil on a cold cell block
But that's what happens when you rape, murder and sell rock
Devils used to be God's angels that fell from the top
There's no diversity because we're burning in the melting pot
This is quite possibly the best story telling rap song I've ever heard while also being the creepiest, spine-chilling story I've ever heard over a beat. It starts off simple enough, about a kid in the ghetto wanting to be a bada**:
I once knew a n***a whose real name was William
His primary concern, was making a million
Being the illest hustler, that the world ever seen
He used to f** moviestars and sniff coke in his dreams
So he wanted to do something that would prove to them that he was a real man, that he could be a cold hearted thug like the rest of them. Stepping to some of the biggest gangs in his town, he told them he wanted to be jumped into the crew, and would do anything to prove that he could be as hard as them. And so, they gave him an ultimatum:
But only a real thug can stab someone 'til they die
Standing in front of them, staring straight into their eyes
Billy realized that these men were well guarded
And they wanted to test him, before business started
And then…
They saw a woman on the street walking alone
Three in the morning, coming back from work, on her way home
And it only gets darker from there…
And so they quietly got out the car and followed her
Walking through the projects, the darkness swallowed her
And what happens in the next verse will… well, it's hard to say, and I don't want to spoil just how dark this story gets, but he DOES say this:
They say d**h takes you to a better place, but I doubt it
Cause he was lonely and scared
But only the devil responded, cause God wasn't there
And that's all I really want to say, because if you haven't heard this song, you need to experience it firsthand for yourself
This is quite possibly one of the darkest morality tales you will ever see this side of a Twilight Zone episode. Well, that's my list. And some of you may be asking, "Hey Black Thunder, the ghost of Isaac Hayes, where's Eminem in all of this? Oh, don't worry… *laughs*