We now interrupt your program to advertise a new season of Making of the Band
Ten contestants from all over the states will compete for five spots and do whatever it takes
Highlights include comedy bloopers and out-takes, tune in on Thursdays around half past eight
So you can pick the next New Kids on the Block, make Jackson 5 clones, make 'em play hard rock
More reality shows, pick from infinite stock, 'cause we gotta do our part to get you people to watch
Smoke-It-Today has got a filter which doesn't harm
Alarm the non-doers with what you're pursuin', your pleasure's pickin'
It's all-natural, it doesn't reek of tobacco burns, smell in your clothes
Great for the house
Program intervene
We have a cure for herpes but it may erupt your spleen
Now the side effects may include the altering the gene
Giving birth to children with children more into ne'
We now interrupt your program to advertise a new at-home retinal scan
It's government-approved and it's safe for all ages to use, but it might cause a cranial bruise
There's no longer a need for keys to lose
If you purchase right now you automatically register for a chance to win a Carnival cruise
Call 1-800-EYE-SCAN, it's right for y'
Excuse this brief long-winded infomercial here
The ones who brought you flag decals
Concentrated freedom of beats try-outs for those leaders who died out
We interrupt your program to inform you that George Bush has another scam
To get his son re-elected without the help of his band to lower the price of gas
It's to get you in his hand, s**a!
[We interrupt this program]
[Let's listen now for a commercial for--]
[We now return you to--]
We now interrupt your program with a message from N-E-O the name brand
We're cuttin' prices at the warehouse, so come in and purchase
The clothin' that'll make you look fresh on the surface
When you're wearin' this it goes without bein' said that you'll have a logo on your back and your pantleg
But don't forget to grab accessories on the way out
Especially the one's that's already pretty
Hi, we have a new standard of living that we can sell to you with any credit card given
Visa or Master, it even treats colon cancer, doctors are on site with cameras and broadcasters
You won't be the victims 'cuz I'm a ma** market it as popular as can be till they forget of the origin
In addition to this package is a pair of new shoes
For you and your family with matching dolls and Blues Clue--
Sure it's your people but It's so hard to respect
Don't you wanna be like the rest or be let for the comparison
The most it lets it fall, yes the hole, it never spoke
A refund in your dreams, of better things, so it seems
The only way out is to be brought to life If it's what we see
[Let's listen to an important public service message]
[For a limited time--]
[Our next subject--]
[And now back to our--]
Around 10, back-to-back episodes of Sports Talk begins
We repeat it six times in a row, so don't miss it, but if you do, here's a website to go and visit
Complete with all the latest highlights and updates, and tonight we'll feature a contest
Where seven 300-pound men all have a chance to see who can eat the most cupcakes without regurgi--
Are you depressed? Shallow in the chest?
Boyfriends always leaving you 'cuz the size of your breasts?
We have a new method of giving you more for less
A hormonal ma**age, but does it really work? Well, yes!
We got the top misogynistic scientists workin' together
So you can fill that new Kashmir sweater up with plump bumps
All that fits your self-esteem rhythm provided to you buy the Cleavage Club
Ok, envision yourself on a beautiful beach with beautiful freaks
Beautiful horizon, a beautiful Jeep you own
Beautiful day, beautiful way to spend time on that beautiful bay and beautiful sky
Can't forget the beautiful photogenic camera that take beautiful pictures
Of the beautiful, beautiful, beautiful life
Thanks to this beautiful moment, remember that it can be beautiful with Kodak's disposables
[We urge you to listen to these instructions carefully--]
[Self-sacrifice is the law of our age! Self-sacrifice; but it is precisely the self that cannot and must not be sacrificed! A man's self is his spirit. It is the unsacrificed self that we must respect in man above all.]