[Intro: Eminem]
1, 2, 6, 8, 10...
[Verse 1: Eminem in the style of Vanilla Ice but rapping as himself]
YO! I'm Back, to bust another fresh track
You say, that I have the ability to fly
Fly right pa** ya a**, when I blast
Ya everytime I grab the mic, I crash a-
Nother rhyme it's a crash landin'
Everytime I grab the mic, I'm kinda outstandin'
Cuz no-one can step to, a single a rhyme
And I say " Yo, what kept you?
Holmes, you going too slow
You're too slow for the flow " and I know
That Eminem is returning
To bust the rhyme and s**ers are learning
That when I kinda go offbeat a little bit
I step back to the rhyme and say
That I bust a rhyme all day
Make a s**a say "Hey!
I cannot step to you Eminem
Cuz you are so bad, Damn
You're the baddest motherf**er in the whole damn land"
And you're right, cuz I am
And I don't go offbeat, not once
Cuz I grab the mic and bust for months
And I don't give nobody another turn
Cuz everytime I grab the mic, I don't let a brother burn
Because he can't step to a single rhyme that I do
Cuz you knew you're through
[Verse 2: Proof (rapping as MC Hammer)]
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah
Now I grab the microphone, you know I am imperial
Is a production that rocking your stereo
Don't front with me, cuz I am the boy
I get on the microphone and I destroy
Now you can take a body, that's not from Oakland
Hammer, Hammer, Hammer keeps on choking, yeah
I can do it right and nobody will know
For I am the Hammer and I'm running the show
They come from West Indies south of California
I wake you motherf**ers up, early in the morning, yo front!
[Interlude: Eminem (hereafter rapping as Vanilla Ice)]
Yo Hammer, that was pretty good man
I don't think I can step to you man, I don't know
(Proof: ... I'm great!)
I'll just try but it seems like you outdo me, no matter what I do
(Proof shouts something unintelligible)
Here I go anyway
[Verse 3: Eminem]
Here I am, back to attack the whole damn land
You know that Vanilla Ice is hype
I grab this mic and I rhyme all night
MC Hammer cannot step to me
Because I got the rhymes and I'm truly
So damn hype and the place to be
I'm rhyming on the mic on the M-I-C
M-I-C is the abbreviation
I grab the mic and rock the whole nation
You know that Vanilla Ice, is so precise and I get so nice
Get so nice, I start developing manners
And I whoop you brain like scanners
Because Vanilla Ice is bad
Now what you got to say about that dad?
[Interlude: Proof]
You can't step to me boy
I sell more records!
Yo. I know here I go. Yo Manny gimme something yeah!
[Verse 4: Proof]
Now everytime I go, you know I like to start
My name is MC Hammer
I rule hip hop charts
Seven million seven million seven million sold
And Dumbsh** barely even touch gold!
Now everywhere I go, they know that I'm a star
I'm the H -A-M, the M -E -R
Cuz every time I rock it they know I rock the mic
I am MC Hammer
And you know what I am like, ROAR!
[Interlude]
Eminem: I don't know man, I think you got me, man. I don't know. I'mma try. Check this out. Fallin'...
(Music speeds up)
Proof: Ain't no one here you s**a!
(Music returns to normal)
[Verse 5: Eminem]
Fallin' on the concrete real fast
Jumped in the car, slammed on the gas
Bumper to bumper the avenue's packed
I try to get away because the jacker attacked
So I step to the rhyme and I just say I'm
Gonna bust a rhyme for the whole damn mind
Then you say that I cannot bust a rhyme
But you gonna get got MC Hammer
Because you know you get on the mic
And drop poor grammar
And you can't slam a jam because I know that I am the man
And all the teenagers they like ME
You know why? It's a scheme agents
Have developed to sell me
Because I bust a rhyme so cleverly
And you know that I got knowledge
Cuz I'm in show biz
And I bust a rhyme all the time
So MC Hammer you cannot step to
A single rhyme that I do cuz I knew
That you are through, you are washed up
Oh, so step to the back room
And I told you that I have to scold you
Because I am Vanilla Ice
I grab this mic and I get so precise
And you cannot step
So why don't you get swept?
[Interlude: Proof]
Now you makin' me mad boy
Now I'm gonna get your a**
Now you gonna know who's on this motherf**in' mic! Yo!
[Verse 6: Proof]
It's about time that I turned out your lights
Now I see the Vanilla Ice tryin' a chill in my freezer
You just don't know that your mama is a geezer
She say Hammer, yo Hammer, yo Hammer Hammer Hammer
But she jump on me because I'm a bad mamma jamma
I did your b**h, Hammer don't play
I got the funky sh** and it goes this way
I wish your whole a** try to step, you can't touch this
You f** with the Hammer you'll be walking on crutches
Yeah that's what I'm sayin', I ain't playin'
I'm Hammer, I'm Hammer, yes it's the Hammer Man
My lips may be big but I can rap better
Than looking at your a**, you look like a piece of cheddar!
Yo though you steppin' to me, you know it's no dream
I dig Vanilla Ice and turn his a** into whipped cream
So you know who's the best by far
It's the muthaf**in' HammeR with a capital R, roar!
[Interlude]
Eminem: Now you made me mad. And you know what happens when you make Vanilla Ice mad Hammer?
Proof: What?
Eminem: I don't like it. So yo! (Pauses)
Proof: You scared boy?
Eminem: I ain't scared of you, Hammer. I'm just thinking. I gotta think of something clever
Eminem whispers: Ice Ice baby, too cold too cold
[Verse 7: Eminem]
When I'm through with you
You'll be goin' to heaven
Cuz I smash the gla**es and f** 3-5-7
24/7 they was bangin' my co*k
I said "yo f** Hammer
Get a piece of the rock, yeah"
I said yeah. My name is Vanilla Ice, you can't
Step to me, you thought that you was a champ
But I stepped on your a** like a piece of carpet
And rented you for sale like an upstairs apartment
Yo, that's my clever metaphor
And every time I grab the mic you know
Kids like me cuz I'm better for
Their ears, because their mothers and parents
Like to hear the way I rhyme and I make an appearance
And say hey, I got a blond streak
And that's why people like me cuz I'm hard as concrete
I'm always on beat when I do this show
You know that Vanilla Ice has to go cuz I'm so damn fresh!
[Verse 8: Proof]
Now you steppin' to me punk
There is no maybes
You steppin' to me wrong and I'm gonna ICE ya baby!
So you say what's the matter, why Hammer loves to rap
Cuz all that sh** you talkin' to Hammer is bullcrap
Now I know a rhyme every day I'm ready
I'm down with Dougie Fresh, Van-L is not ready
Now everywhere I go, on MTV Rap
They know I'm the best cuz now I don't take no crap
Now Vanilla Vanilla he's beaming out Hammer
They say yo Hammer don't put me on the slammer
I said yo s**a, stupid muthaf**a
You messin with me but I'm no s**a
I already pumped it up, and already got it started
So steppin to me white muthaf**a you'll feel broken-hearted
So I'm gonna pa** the mic and you know about me
Hammer get off the f**in' mic!!! I'm outie!
[Outro: Eminem]
You blew me out, man, you beat me