When there's trouble in the air, i'm the bloke who's always there.
When loving couples swear and curse, I am there to make it worse.
In the sh**, I'll drop you right in it, I'm sh**stirrer
If you have two-timed your girl, straight to her I'll go and tell.
And even if your love is true, I'll still tell you've got two.
If you're off work and tell then why, I'll tell your boss it's all a lie.
And if you say things behind his back, I'll gra** you up so you'll get the sack.