[Verse 1]
Okay, honestly
I don't know how much more that I can take
I feel like everytime I move, my sanity's about to break
For those of you who never played
I don't suggest this game to you
If you don't wanna see a therapist until you're 92
Because I'm twitching and shaking
And sweating off my a**
Now I'm super paranoid, what was that?!
The cat
Wait a sec, up ahead, is that another note?
Yes, yes, thank God, now I think I'm getting close
Damn it, that was just my first
Now it's time to find the next
Tonight, I'm gonna check inside my closet 'fore I go to bed
Not 'cuz I'm scared, just to be sure my clothes are there
Yeah, not for Slender Man, ha, I don't even care
Now the music's picking up and my light is getting dim
And I hear the static buzz, the screen is fuzzy
Agh, that's him!!
[Hook 1]
And somehow, I don't know
I just lost all control
My bowel movement had a mind of its own
(Mind of its own)
Thanks to you, Slender Man
I need to change my pants
"Whoa, what the hell happened in here?"
I swear, I don't know!
[Verse 2]
I admit that was a fluke, but that will not be the end
"I will k** you if you park a Buick on the floor again!"
So I shut my door, lights off, volume full blast
And I think I'll be prepared with this cork inside my a**
Slendy, Slendy, where are you now?
I'm just minding my own business, you don't have to sneak around
Oh my God, there's a fence
Oh my God, another fence
Okay, a truck, a tunnel, a rock, another fence!
Dude, I'm just a little kid, Slender Man, why you creepin'?
Where's Chris Hansen from Dateline when you freakin' need him?
I'm not scared anymore, Slender isn't even real
I'll go on my merry way
Oh Jesus, take the wheel!!
[Hook 2]
I thought this cork would work
But somehow, things got worse
Think I puked up twice as much
Had come out my rear (come out my rear)
Slender Man, what the hell?
Can't get rid of the smell
"Skull, what's going on?"
Do not come in here!
[Verse 3]
Now I'm trapped in my room, puke and dookies on the floor
Somehow, I still have the notes and I only need one more
Holy farts, this is intense, he's teleporting everywhere
(Agh! Blah! Gah! Ugh!) Change direction and he's there
Oh no, not the pool house
God, why the pool house?
Haven't been inside it yet and there is no way out
But I need the note, I need to win, I'm so close
Oh my God, he's right behind me, time to book it, here it goes
Juke left, juke right and the music's getting louder
And the screen is getting fuzzy and my light is losing power
Hope he's not around the corner cuz my life depends on this
Empty chair over there, where's the note?
There it is!
I did it, I won
AHH!!!
[Hook 3]
FML, should've known
That this game was a troll
It don't matter what you do
Because he will find you (cuz he will find you)
Thanks a lot, this game s**s
Now I just need a hug
From someone with a face, thanks very much