[Verse 1: Pastor Dave]
Every night I think I escape "the madness" but then the morning comes
You ever felt out of place, well I have more than once
And to make me feel better I began poking fun
It's not a good method to ease the pain it just the closest one
And I guess that's where my flaws began to open up
And as I continue to write this I start choking up
I start choking up these bars I just hope someone soaks them up
Id like to think I'm a new man as if I sobered up
But I'm just the same piece of sh** that you ain't believing
Everything you do I just resent for no reason
One day I'll be on my knees repent and start pleading
Begging to start over but by then my hearts leaking
On the track my hearts leaking
Stomach in a knot like I'm taking shots and I'm Sea sick
Believe it or not I may have a reason
To act the way I do so with me you have to reason
And when you hear this you'll probably say it's about a girl close to me
You don't know who this is about even if you close to me
Same face no emotion as if I grabbed a poker seat
I'm good at hiding how I feel and I guess that's how it's supposed to be
And when I'm down and out I guess there's no consoling me
Deal with my problems by my self there ain't not much more to me
And I guess deep Down I kind of promote the beef
The only way I know you care ain't no shoulder to cold for me
When you grew up f**ed up, you see nobody's perfect
I'm far from it, but closer on the surface
But what you see is a piece of sh** I'm worthless
Stay putting on a front in these motherf**ing verses
Screaming out preach but I don't know where the church is
Most things, is proven, uncertain
Smoke screens, illusions, gold hearses
All to cover up deep down what's re-emerging
Man I'm just trying to as real as I can be
You can't understand if you don't realize what I see
From my perspective and deal with it to my relief
But if were ever on the same page I'll just stand here in disbelief
So as I start to wipe this blood up of this leaf
I come to terms that there's no love inside of me
Trials and tribulations demolish what's there until it's weak
And now I only have hate towards those who think but never speak