lie
tell yourself that you did
that you are still every bit of the man your mother raised
the one Cameroon mandates you to be
even though you didn't
your small body a marionette of confusion
how it reacted differently from your mind
how could your body enjoy such a monstrous thing
to create pleasure from your agony?
to be both the closet & the reasons why you hide in it
at only eight years old, this will be your first lesson
In learning your body does not belong to you
& you will forever wonder if this is how you will learn
to love things & people? by the damage they will cause
you by the amount of masochism they will make your
veins sing by the parts of you they will take & take
& take & never return?