I'd like to introduce myself, I'm Nicholas Foster
I'm not the best looking guy you'll find
But I enjoy Camel Reds and a good piece of Bocelli
And when I've had a few too many, I do things I regret
So I walked over to the bar to meet my friend
Hey, Foster!
Yup, that's Mikey, pint in hand
Looking for any mischief he can find
What's been up, mother f**er
I haven't seen you in ages!
I knew I shouldn't, but temptation got the best of me
Why do I do...all these things to hurt you?
Foster! Hear that a**hole?
His name is Ray
Says he's been seeing your lady...In an intimate way!
Says he beats her up, he says he treats her like a who*e
He says he spits in her face, yet she comes back for more
It's a lie, nonesense, he's full of sh**
Mother f**er would be lucky if he could find his dick
I was gonna let it slide, turn the other cheek
But I overheard the ba*tard as he started to speak
Got a new b**h, been a s*ut for a time
She was Foster's once, but now she's mine
And that poor old f**
Heh, he doesn't even have a clue
I'm going to k** him
Why do I do all these things to hurt you
Why do I hurt you, oh
Why do I do all these things to hurt you
Why do I hurt you, oh
Followed the f**, as he went to take a piss
Crept into the alley, fingers turned to fists
Stayed silent, put my hands around his neck
I looked into his face and sunk the gla** into his breast
A surge of blood, a moment pa**ed
I couldn't think, I couldn't move
With every second waiting
There was something they could prove
Smiled, felt relief as his breath became shy
His body lay limp, I had taken his life
No, no, no
No, no, no
No, no, no
Oh, f**
What have I done
There's blood everywhere, look at all this blood
Oh, God
I wonder how much money's in his wallet
I wonder if he has any family...
How am I going to get away with this
Well he's dead anyway
No luck sticking around here
I better find a way to get away now...
So I woke up like it was any other Sunday
Had me a cup of black coffee, read the paper, and had one of my favorite f*gs
Felt right as rain until the phone rang
*phone ringing 2x*
Hello
Hello, Nicholas Foster?
Who's this?
This is Officer Sloan from the police department
Oh, Officer Sloan-
Where were you on the night of the 31st?
I was... I happened to be-
Happened to be at a pub at Broadway and Hurst?
No, I wasn't there, actually-
Do you know Ray Wells?
Um, Ray Wells, Ray Wells
Doesn't ring any bells
The 31st I was out of town
Yeah, th-that's right, on business in fact
You see, I was with my bird, we're in love
Well, thank you for your time
I'd hate to bother you
And they bought it
*knocking on the door*
Who is it?
Freeze, mother f**er!
I didn't do anything
Face on the floor
I'm innocent
I'm not getting on the floor
You sh** murderer
You murdered someone and you know it
I didn't do anything
I'm innocent
We know it, and you know it
I bet they'll love you in the shower, heheh!
I didn't do anything
And you're gonna spend the rest of your life in prison paying for it