[Intro: Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian]
Ben Stiller: I'm half Jewish so-
Sir Ben Kingsley: You are? I love Jews. We owned 40,000 of them
Anjali Jay: Such lovely people
Rami Malek: Here we go
Sir Ben Kingsley: They were very happy. Always singing with candles
Ben Stiller: Yeah, they really weren't happy
Anjali Jay: Really?
Ben Stiller: No, they left. They spent about 40 years in the desert trying to escape
Anjali Jay: Oh
Ben Stiller: Yeah, we have dinner once a year and talk about it. It's a big deal
[Verse 1: Rolla J]
Rap diablo, entering your nostril
Not the face of Subway but I'm skating like Apollo
All of, their breads are top notch including rye
Gingerbread and kale chips the top things I live by
Culinary Gucci, shampoo fruity
Run up on some cowboys and I'm like Howdy-doody
It's awkward not to knock and then talk to the President
I do it anyway cause he says that I'm heaven-sent
First rapper influenced by Macklemore millery
My crib is known for having more gin than a distillery
k** or be k**ed, I'm influenza ill
Sittin' on the hospital bed sh** gets real
All my life I've been treated as the best
I used to make a buck, now I make a buck less
Call me David cause I'm chiseled out of marble
You're a piece of sh** and you came from a sharthole
My rhymes are hitting hard and you know my beats'll be next
Nose covered in coke, like snot in a Kleenex
We next public enemies, leaders of a nation
Turban while I game call it Sway station
Stay-cation, stay high up in my penthouse
Oxymoronic b**hes call that sh** a cat mouse
I get in bar fights nearly almost bi-weekly
Only cause I know that the cheddar's kinda cheesy
Money ain't a thing no more
I used to think that Bill Gates was rich, and now he's kinda poor
Prepared all the time, stay fresh cause I'm ready
Tearing up the biz call that sh** confetti
Free all my people like Moses did to Pharaoh
Egyptian girls want to s** me dry like bone marrow
I'm on the top and all you s**ers in the middle
f** a midget flight attendant call her steward little
[Hook: Jew Ranch]
The Devil walks within me
(Started from String Street now we're here)
The Devil walks around me
(It's Half Jewish tickling your ear)
The Devil walks within me
(Ask me where my lyrics come from I think you know)
The Devil's all around me
(Cause I'm possessed by a rap Diablo)
[Verse 2: Jew Ranch]
I like to f** sh** up call me Ralph Nader
Or call me Florida cause I can't keep track of all my paper
I like Versace jeans with a little taper
I spend my leisure time accumulating yaper
I don't usually follow the government election
But when I see Bernie I get an erection
These raps are so addictive it's time for an intervention
I'm not a woman born ya I'm f**ing C-section
I'd do anything for God
From k**ing to stealing to fighting yeah anything at all
The other day God asked me "Yo Ranch what is love"
I responded back "Dude love is f**ing in a prayer shawl"
f** the academy, our lyrics blasphemy
I jump off the balcony like I know falconry
This is high tech rap go go gadgetry
I live slow and steady like a (Clap clap) Manatee
[Verse 2: NZO]
NZO going in on this hella hot track
Taking off my coat dropping fifties on her rack
Got this giant a** world I'm a needle in the haystack
My man Donald Trump got me angrier than Chiraq
Roll up to the party with my dope a** crew
Just me LP and a couple of Jews
I tear up the road like I tear up her a**
Pedal to the medal yeah I'm always going fast
Slow down no, no the cops can't stop me
Hit em with that one two jukes like Hockey
Cruisin' down the ice call me Max Hopley
Time is just seconds, yours are sloppy
Profile picture no please don't crop me
Got a Jewish lawyer now y'all can't copy
Some say I'm the best, how could I not be?
I'm a straight flush, ya just can't flop me
[Hook: Jew Ranch] x2
The Devil walks within me
(Started from String Street now we're here)
The Devil walks around me
(It's Half Jewish tickling your ear)
The Devil walks within me
(Ask me where my lyrics come from I think you know)
The Devil's all around me
(Cause I'm possessed by a rap Diablo)