(as recorded by Noel Coward, 1931)
I've fallen in love with you,
I'm taking it badly;
Freezing, burning,
Tossing, turning,
Never know when to laugh or cry.
Just look what our dull friends do,
They welcome it gladly;
Pa**ion in a dromedary doesn't go so deep,
Camels when they're mating never sob themselves to sleep,
Buffaloes can revel in it, so can sheep!
Why can't I?
Any little fish can swim,
Any little bird can fly,
Any little dog
Or any little cat
Can do a bit of this
And just a bit of that.
Any little horse can neigh
And any little cow can moo,
But I can't do anything at all
But just love you.
Any little co*k can crow,
Any little fox can run,
Any little crab
On any little shore
Can have a little dab,
And then a little more!
Any little owl can hoot, (too-whit-too-woo)
Any any little dove can coo,
But I can't do anything at all
But just love you.
You've pulled me across the brink'
You've chained me and bound me;
No escape now,
Where's the crepe now?
When is the funeral going to be?
Whenever I stop to think, see nature all around me,
Then I see how stupidly monogamous I am!
A lion, in the circumstances, wouldn't give a damn,
For if there were no lioness he'd lie down with a lamb!
Why not me?
Any little bug can bite,
Any little bee can buzz,
Any little snail
On any little oak
Can feel a little frail
And have a little joke.
Any little frog can jump
Like any little kangaroo,
But I can't do anything at all
But just love you.
Any little duck can quack,
Any little worm can crawl,
Any little mole
can frolic in the sun,
And make a little hole
And have a little fun!
Any little snake can hiss
In any little local zoo,
But I can't do anything at all
But just love you.