EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
BEN FRANKLIN!
VS!
BILLY MAYS!
BEGIN!
[Benjamin Franklin]
I'm big Ben Franklin and this shan't be pretty
Let me instruct you how we battle in the city of Philly
You couldn't sell Rick James a bag of crack, you're out of practice
My victory more certain than d**h or taxes
Fact is you're a hack, wack QVC joke
You peddle soap that cleans bird sh** from my windows
I'll craft a lyrical coffin and then spit the nails in
Call me Arthur Miller son, cause it's d**h of a salesman
[Billy Mays]
Hi Billy Mays here with a special TV offer
Watch me crush this bald fat foppish founding father
I'll take my awesome auger and sow your quaker oats
I'll shoot your rhymes down like a regiment of red coats
I'm lord of the pitch and leader in home sales
You're just a lumpy pumpkin who invented the mail
Benny's got kite'n key but you're in for a shock
When I strike you with bolts from my lightning rod co*k
[Benjamin Franklin]
Stop I protest these intolerable raps
It takes just one easy payment for me to whoop your a**
Cause I'm mint I'm money I'm an educated gentleman
So join or die Bill cause it's all about the Benjamin
[Billy Mays]
But wait there's more!
[Announcer]
Is there anyone out there who can finish this battle?
Anyone...?
Anyone...?
[Vince Offer: The ShamWow Guy]
I can
You following me camera guy? Cause it's about to get furious
You're gonna love my nuts until you're bi-focal-curious
Your boy George chopped down trees; you couldn't break a piece of balsa
Slap chop your face, make a double chin salsa
Your style's so broke they call you Poor Richard
It's bad enough I got to see you every time I tip a stripper
Vince against a founding father is just too bad
Cause after this America is gonna lose a Dad
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-picrapbattlesofhistory..