[Intro]
See, lately I've been asked
What do I beleive and all my life I was told this is the truth learn it, live it love it
Truth is, I'm a smarta** and when it comes to the unknown why do I necessicarily have to accept and follow you blindly
They seeing is believing is a motto and I agree with it 100%
I've been looking all my life and I, I just can't find him man
Is anybody here? Is anybody there
Hello God, It's me Nalyd
[Verse 1: Nalyd Ecitsuj]
Here's another track to disappoint my parents
I'm a mother f**in loser barely make an appearance in anyones lives
I ain't gonna front and say I don't mope around and cry from time to time
You say why do I rhyme about nonsense all the time
Especially when that rhyme is a sign that I'm satanic or pleading for attention
But the dynamic decison to question religion is a confession of mine
And I'm caught up between trying to find the puzzle pieces to arrange in my mind and find the right allignment of logic
Stop questioning God Dylan this isn't a joke to be comical stop it
But don't a**ume because I dress the way I do that that is my acknowledgement to you to say i'm gotical and demonical
You say you don't believe in a God around here and eveything becomes chaotical and people think I might be psychotical
The fact I took the time to write arout this subject line is symobolical that I care enough to speak about it
A higher power I'm starting to doubt it, I don't need to read the bible to denounce it
The stories I have read are reasons why I can't respect it
Go read Torment of Jobs Chapters 1,2,38 & 42 reflect it
It says God is in charge and what he says goes
We have no control but We believe in him but scoff someone who says that they believe in ghosts
That book was wrote a long long time ago and as the times go we all know that things change and alter
Maybe I need something to rebel against because I didn't have a father or my insecuies have altered the way i think
But hear me out and don't make me feel 10 inches tall and shrink
Do I need a shrink because I think about the truth which is what we all really seek
You want the world to improve and flow insync but maybe you should question
Why do you blink?
Why did the titanic sink?
Who put us here to eat and to drink and to live laugh and grow?
Science keeps proving the story wrong making the cracks begin to show
This is the song i wrote to evoke a response from both
Sides of the spectrum
There is nothing wrong with praying and having an emotional connection to what you've been taught from a mom or a dad or an adored direction
The world is full of hate,liars,discrimination and full of f**ing imperfections
I'm not bashing a believer because i know they fight for his affection
But when people start wars over it thats makes me lose respect for em' and it starts to look like infection
Our gods dick is bigger than yours
k**ing the innocent and the weak and poor
Over a God you say is good
But if you did what you should in your context of livelyood you would pray for them and not get too violent
I'm breaking the silence
Saying what I feel
Because I can't worship something that forces me aginst my will if I don't succom to the facode
I find it hard to hold on sometimes so thats why I've went to the house of god
To try and understand
I'm not better than anyone else therefore I am only just a mortal man
A grain of sand on the beach
Preach those words to me and I stay an internal hopeless
Spent half my life feeling like I was homeless
See I had stabiility all through my life
But, with my Mom but we argue all the time it seems even when im just trying to unwind she yells and argues with me all the f**ing time
I don't wanna argue back but i have disease and I actually don't know why im always mad see
Acting like the world owes me something
But I never gave the world nothing
What have i ever gave to the world besides denial and laziness
I think its craziness but I can't blame nobody for this because i think my self centeredness made me this
Sometimes I wonder why they always look at me and expect the worst
But I can't trip they musta had their reasons
Because I guess they a**umed that all those trees I was apparently breathing
Easy it's easy to blame them for my problems when really lack of effort what's keep me at the bottom
I hate myself and it's a fight and i can't stop him, its internal war
Maybe im rapping while having a seizure or i am a waste of skin wallflower bleeding on the floor
[Hook]
But I'm changing, and I'm trying, I look for him but I just can't find him
What does god know
Besides dying oh
(sunday morning)