(One and a-two!)
At the approach of the millennial malaise
There were blights with a need of a perennial braze
The age of the Corinthian, the plunderer and the dandy
Had given way to that of the prig and the bore
Just before boredom became a modus operandi
Some said stop the rot, I shall take no more
Society's floundering in squalid desperation
And what's wanted to save it was a savvy publication
Now, I've often wondered how best to dress for wrestling
Or between ties and cravats, which was the best thing?
Were there really seventy-three ways to doff one's hat?
There were! I'd rather suspected that
At last we were decanted knowledge sweet as sherry
The Chap was here, we were all so very
Glad of it. You can stay in standard evolution
Or come and join us in our dandy revolution
Give your pipe a tap
Park your rattle trap
Raise your hat or cap
As we say, all hail The Chap
All hail The Chap
Now we all know rules are there to be broken
But never have truer words been spoken
Than in the code hereafter, hey presto,
Hear the ten rules of The Chap manifesto
Thou shalt always wear tweed
Is the only fabric you shall ever need
Thou shalt never not smoke
Pipes made from briar, booze aged in oak
Always be courteous to the ladies
Give an air of Zeus with a dash of Hades
Never ever wear PANTALOONS DENIMES
Come on young scamp there's still time to switch teams
Thou shalt always doff one's hat
If you're flanneur or simply like to stop and chat
Never fasten the lower bu*ton of one's WESKIT
Look, we don't make the rules it's just the best kit
Thou shalt always speak properly
Don't give the Westwoods a monopoly
Never wear plimsolls if not doing sport
Unless you're a chap-hop superstar sort
Always worship the trouser press
Good Mr. Corby, he knows best
Always cultivate interesting facial hair
But on the top, here, not under there
It's a call to charms, a design for living
Within a world so unforgiving
Where sloth and ban*lity are the standard brew
Well, we've upped our standards
So up yours too!
Give your pipe a tap
Park your rattle trap
Raise your hat or cap
As we say, all hail The Chap
All hail The Chap
All hail The Chap
(One and a-two!)
All hail The Chap
(Once again for luck)
All hail The Chap