DAD: There are Jews in the world. There are Buddhists. There are Hindus and Mormons, and then There are those that follow Mohamed, but I've never been one of them. I'm a Roman Catholic, And have been since before I was born, And the one thing they say about Catholics is: They'll take you as soon as you're warm. You don't have to be a six-footer. You don't have to have a great brain. You don't have to have any clothes on. You're A Catholic the moment Dad came, Because... Every s**m is sacred. Every s**m is great. If a s**m is wasted, God gets quite irate. CHILDREN: Every s**m is sacred. Every s**m is great. If a s**m is wasted, God gets quite irate. GIRL: Let the heathen spill theirs On the dusty ground. God shall make them pay for Each s**m that can't be found. CHILDREN: Every s**m is wanted. Every s**m is good. Every s**m is needed In your neighborhood. MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon, Spill theirs just anywhere, But God loves those who treat their Semen with more care. MEN: Every s**m is sacred. Every s**m is great. WOMEN: If a s**m is wasted... CHILDREN: ...God get quite irate. PRIEST: Every s**m is sacred. BRIDE and GROOM: Every s**m is good. NANNIES: Every s**m is needed... CARDINALS: ...In your neighborhood! CHILDREN: Every s**m is useful. Every s**m is fine. FUNERAL CORTEGE: God needs everybody's. MOURNER #1: Mine! MOURNER #2: And mine! CORPSE: And mine! NUN: Let the Pagan spill theirs O'er mountain, hill, and plain. HOLY STATUES: God shall strike them down for Each s**m that's spilt in vain. EVERYONE: Every s**m is sacred. Every s**m is good. Every s**m is needed In your neighborhood. Every s**m is sacred. Every s**m is great. If a s**m is wasted, God gets quite iraaaaaate!