[Produced by Caleb Maka]
[Intro:]
I got a story to tell
I dont know why
I ever tried
To be satisfied
In all of these lies
And she said...
[Verse 1:]
When she wake in the morning, she feel like she hung
When she wake up, she don't get up out 'til she drug
Herself with perceptions and life misconceptions
Thinkin' bout the life she livin', no sense of direction
She don't wanna live in captivity, inability
To make her own decisions cause of desires inside of me
When lust rule her mind
It gives all her time
To objectify
Satisfaction she never find
She dont wanna be that, she dont wanna feed that
Nobody wanna see that, reason they dont want her keepin
But how do she deal with her life when she conscious 'n' sober?
Her life is too hard and her pa**ion drive her like a motor
When he left her side
A part of her died
Only way to hide
To cloud up her mind
She don't need to fly
Just need a disguise
To mask all the lies
And the pain inside
She know everything about her goin' wrong
She don't need to tell you bout it or write it up in a song
You can see it in her eyes, the master to her commander
All the broken hearts and life regrets of a philanderer
She fell to her knees and said...
[Chorus:]
I don't know where I'm going
And I don't know where I've been
Faded memories blur together, blown away with the wind
My time is ticking away
The clouds are a sickening gray
My identity is, my identity is, my identity is in me
All these empty regrets, and my sickening past, and my starving soul so hungry
All I wanna be is, all I wanna be is, all I wanna be is free
I wanna dream, I wanna see, i need to be set free
[Interlude:]
I dont know why
I ever tried
To be satisfied
In all of these lies
And he said...
[Verse 2:]
You know how sometimes it feels
Like your life ain't real?
You know how your will
Gets k**ed off by pills?
It's like he breathin' in breath, but he ain't even alive, though
Cause he's feelin' purposeless like he got nothin' to live for
(Does God exist?)
He got his doubts on religion, and some good piercing questions
Throw 'em like darts at the freaks when they spittin'
Man he wanna believe, and he wanna have hope
But how can he do it, when there's nothing we know?
All of his perceptions and life misconceptions
Are always in disarray and he begin to question
"Are my five senses the ways to understand life?
Is what I perceive the key to getting it right?"
He's had so many spiritual feelings, he don't think they real
He keep saying they aren't, cause his doubts they can k**
He don't even know if life is real, now he doubt existence
I think this doubt is accidentally now his new addiction
(Whos he talkin' about?
I think he's talkin' about himself)
So where do I go from here?
At the end of myself, i have a choice to make
Doubt everything and hedonize, or be a man of faith?
I'm done with distractions to deal with my pain
I'm done with a fraction of pleasure and sayin'
That i'm feeling happy when i know i ain't
A lion protecting his pride feeling faint
All my life I've known that I have a fate
Fit in with the crowd or go be the change
This guy, he and I we have a choice to make
Live by our doubts and pleasures or by faith?
I fell to my knees and said...
[Chorus:]
I don't know where i'm going
And i don't know where I've been
Faded memories blur together, blown away with the wind
My time is ticking away
The clouds are a sickening gray
My identity is, my identity is, my identity is in you
All these empty regrets, and my sickening past, I give it all to you
All I wanna be is, all I wanna be is, all I wanna be is free
I wanna dream, I wanna see, oh please set me free
[Verse 3:]
I don't know why
I ever tried
To be satisfied
In all of these lies
My identity was caught up in these fabrications
Illusions and ruses to hide all my pain
My doubts they became me, embittered and changed me
My flesh it was rottin', and p**n couldn't stop it
Addictions they owned me, identity stolen
Forget that its over, I won't be the chosen
I would rather live a life with purpose and meaning
Then live for something that's worthless and fleeting
[Outro/Spoken interlude]
I hesitantly took a step forward in faith
Stepped out of the boat into the water
Nobody around me saw the internal change
And began to judge me by what my old faults were
Could I handle the pressure by all of my peers
Or would i just collapse and crumble?
Years later and i'm still struggle with fear
The fear of man that makes many stumble.