[Verse 1: Kool A.D.]
I'm the best white rapper, call me Paul Barman
I got bars man, Tarzan, Don Cheadle, Mission to Mars, man
Most of y'all sweet like marzipan
b**bie say my pipes be the heat like cars man
If the booty right, I might eat the whole jar
Can, bowl, pot, basket whatever
Rap game Pol Pot, caskets leather material
Most of these rap cats smell like posterior
Their roster's inferior
Me, I'm a monster, delirious
Half rasta, half pasta serious
Hoffa couldn't find how lost I get often
Get off it, I'm a vet, I wet possum and jet
I get off 'em and on 'em again, awesome
Honor my friends flossing
Respect the fly fashion, look at my
One ugly rugby, I took it and washed it
And kicked it to my cousin in, he was like, "Gracias, primo"
Kool A.D., amigo
La musica de amaze ocho ocho
Pero no ocho cinco, blinko blinko
I'm so, um, ridic-u-lico
Pause, shout to Mike Finito
Neato, Suave, Rico
White girl, Nico
Psychosomatic, addict insane
In my own nation like the Vatican, mayne
John Wayne on the saddle again, rattling chains
I never battled for fame or ratted
Or tattled or got mad at the game
I never batted an eye, I batted the same
Average to keep me consistently drafted, and that's it
And still managed to drop a few cla**ics
Old school, new cla**es
Old view, new gla**es
I told you, I do magic like David Blaine
Stand stationary, remain the same
You minor, I'm Major Payne, baby, I'm Damon Wayans
Please take me out on the fader, mayne
But wait -- no no, not yet
[Verse 2: Lakutis]
I'm in this smokey detective room
Bars full of light through the blinds
Look into his eyes
Mouth got the moth on it
Meat with the sauce on it
Jewel in the eyesocket
Picture of the kid
And your girl gold heart locket
Ice cold flow buss it, it's nothin' (it's nothin')
How am I doin' this!?
Damn sho' the gold ring, Mrs. thing ring ring
Telephone, sorry it's the President
Hold up I gotta take this, yes hello Mr. President Obama
Ho love the aesthetic but she hate the rap music
She be sayin' Lak-yoo-tis -- that's not how you say it, b**h
Check me, I'm the Don Juan, garçon
More Pellegrino, please
See me with the pedigree, marijuana medical
Don't go past two hundred
Keep it one hundred, keep it ugly funky with me
Call the b**h chunky, hit me crispy chicky
Microphone flew out the hand and knock a ho out
Damn
[Interlude: Dallas Penn]
This is one of them filthy cyphers
One of them dirty drawer cyphers
Where you didn't bathe for a few days
Not because you can't, but because you didn't want to
[Verse 3: DVS]
Rip your diplomas, cancel your Time Warner
This the last thing you need to know for the time bein'
Fly being, eyes on the prize, obvious mind readin'
Defy reasoning, mind of science is not reachin' 'em
I'm in the mirror in the picture in your Instagram
Candyman, hook in my hand, not what you think I am
Live with a plan, stand and deliver
You livin' in a van down by the river, that's unfortunate
I'm sure you thought of this, steak and a bone
Eatin' the cartilage, stay in your home, you don't want all of this
Don't even bank on the phone, remain anonymous
I'm In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, you and Eve are up out this b**h
Told you not to eat them apples you a**hole
Now fast forward a couple of months, you in a bad zone
I'm still the man though, funny how things happen
Misfits step on the planet and then the track go
[Verse 4: Meyhem Lauren]
Yo, lap dances from strippers with lap bands
Come through spots and we dap hands -- what up, Dan?
I'm just chilling, trying to live
Keep the contraband out of the crib, know what I'm saying?
Rocking fly sweats, sneakers that's Gore-Tex
We come through, b**hes want raw s** and beef patties
Let em carry ball bags, call em street caddies
Bump and grind on the gas line; peace, Sandy
Stay dipped, flipping like I keep my feet handy
..And that's where I ran out of clever things to say, like
I'm trying to think of something cute to say right now but
I'm about to just let the song end
You already know that we in here
Except for when we not, then we out there