am i supposed to tell someone that i'm drunk before i come over
looked in mirror in bathroom at work and thought “sorry mom i'm a barber”
do horseradishes live in barns
method of suicide by overeating salad
I crash into my swimming pool of guilt
all the parents watching their children from behind camera lenses
I imagine childbirth feels like a kim gordon song
what if microorganisms are actually super religious and have wifi with god and that makes them smarter?