MR. RIGHT
Hey there, Commi! Enjoying your life? Smoking your weed at the price of my strife?
MR. LEFT
I'm picking up lots of hostility here. Maybe you should relax, have some fun, take your hand off your gun.
Here, try some Goji berries!
MR. RIGHT
I don't want your berries. Get off this street. Go get a job, you don't want my heat!
MR. LEFT
Man, you're so square, take a look at your hair! You still from the poor and you look like a bore.
MR. RIGHT
You call me a thief? I call me a winner! You reap what I sow. To me, you're a sinner! Whose to say I can't get ahead. I've got all the sk**s I should be fed. I should get reward for my work!
MR. LEFT
Only a jerk would believe that hard work makes one successful. It's about privilege. The haves and have nots. You think that a man can own everything, from land to money to people even!
MR. RIGHT
There you go, accusing me of the sins of my fathers. Whose to say the sons are to blame. Is this all the white man has to his name?
MR. LEFT
Greedy capitalist pig!
MR. RIGHT
That's my fame?!
MR. LEFT
The things that you do are what makes that true. You have a good soul but rape your payroll. The workers and mother Earth suffer because of your greed. You want to lead, do a good deed!
MR. RIGHT
Now wait just a second. We're both taking a stand against different sides we don't understand.
MR. LEFT AND MR. RIGHT
So what are you about?
MR. RIGHT
Let's read left to right.
MR. LEFT
Well, I'm all about peace and love.
MR. RIGHT
Left matches right. I'm about freedom and prosperity.
MR. LEFT
I dig that. I'm about equality and social justice.
MR. RIGHT
Of course, tradition and value.
MR. LEFT
Rejuvenation and acceptance.
MR. RIGHT
God given and state's rights.
MR. LEFT
The divinity of all people.
MR. RIGHT
Our first amendment rights brought this country to new heights.
I've been dense, I've been tense. But I still believe in those truths of self-evidence.
I want all races to have unity and build up my community.
I'm a proponent of altruistic capitalism. To me, that's the true form of communism.
Upholding wealth disparity, but all of us giving charity, while giving greater clarity to this thing we call freedom.
Freedom for me, freedom for all.
MR. LEFT
A lot of commendable ideas in there. A businessman who believes in equality? Now that's rare.
Unfortunately, those writers you admire? They didn't even care.
They wrote about the freedom for all people to prosper, and condemned many millions to lives of agony and despair.
I don't hold grudges, but I must say, centuries of corporate greed have caused our fabric to fray.
MR. RIGHT
You hold up a clear mirror. I hear what you say.
Our corporate giants have caused power to sway. So we need regulation to keep them at bay. But I'd like to tell you my side of the story if I my.
MR. LEFT
Certainly, I'd love to hear what you have to say.
MR. RIGHT
Some folks had a dream to worship their God with complete freedom. And so they trod from old mother England to this land of the free!
MR. LEFT
And who is free in this land that we live in? Millions of people struggle just to get by. Capitalism to me? The system where the poor get poorly paid to hold the ladder and the rich get ricocheted into the stratosphere. Where's the justice in that?
Some folks had a dream to worship their God? Had they never heard of the sermon on the mount?
MR. RIGHT
They'd heard of that sermon. I've heard of it too. It's a good philosophy for me and for you.
I can't erase our darker years. I can't mop up the trail of tears. I can't break the chains of the slaves of the south and I can't repeat the words from King Junior's mouth.
What I stand for is based on values from long ago that hold true today, not pompous ego.
You have a dream. I want you to get it. This country will help you, that is, if you let it.
Your country's just not our reps in D.C. It's your family, neighbors and folks just like me!
I studied and worked hard to do what I do. If you need help, then I'll hold a ladder for you.
I want you to learn, to serve, and to grow. I'm not that much different from you, you know.
And after seeing the left for more than a glance, I realize now that...
MR. LEFT AND MR. RIGHT
We need balance!
MR. LEFT
Right on man! Balance is what keeps the world right! From the glowing sun to its auspicious night.
In order to grow we must always know that we don't have to fear our opposite peer.
Working together, real change can take place!
But we have to do this:
MR. LEFT AND MR. RIGHT
Look face to face!
MR. RIGHT
We both have love and I know this is true. We want the best for the country and humanity too! We take different paths to give that love.
But our goal is the same, so we need to be wise. Not argue or fight, but...
MR. LEFT AND MR. RIGHT
Compromise!
MR. LEFT
Your side's not small.
MR. RIGHT
Your side's not little.
MR. LEFT
So let's shake hands.
MR. LEFT AND MR. RIGHT
And meet in the middle!