Mason Williams
Hand Made (1964)
The Tomato Vendetta
The Tomato Vendetta – Mason Williams (Album: Hand Made,1964)
This song's about the Tomato Vendetta
And the tale of a man who let a
Hate for tomatoes cause him strife
He lost his job, wife, home, car, kids, and life
He'd go downtown to buy some groceries
He went because his family was hungry
He always bought red meat and potatoes
But he wouldn't touch those ugly tomatoes…
He didn't know why he hated tomatoes
They were just as ugly as far as ugly goes
There in the store, when no-one was watchin'
He'd set melons on them and laugh at their squashin'
One night after shopping and on his way home
His loathing for tomatoes cut to the bone
He just couldn't stand the strain any more
He vowed to destroy the Tomato Horde
He turned around, and viciously hopin'
The grocery stores would still be open
His eyes grew cold, for he was a man
Whose Moment of Truth lay close at hand
All over town, in every store
Tomatoes were hurt and spilled on the floor
Big melons, and turkeys, and large sacks of grits
Were dumped on their sections to mash them to bits
At the last store he finished his plan
But on his way out, a delivery van
Full of big ripe Tomatoes drove in and hit him
Tomato Vendetta had claimed its victim
The incident of the Tomato Vendetta
Caused a sensation that was something that the
Public could relish, and readily snatch-up
Popularly known as the t-o-m-a-t-o k-e-t-c-h-u-p…