I met this girl in a down-home church
And everybody called her schoolteacher
I [?] on the [?] you know [?]
Until I got a chance to meet her
He said the mother [?] don't drink no whiskey
He said the innocent thing don't drink no wine
But since I married and brought her back to this great big city
She come home tore up all the time
You talking about
Fussing and a-fighting
Screaming and a-hollering
A-swinging and a-missing
I ain't gettin no kisses
She keep the water hot
All in that pot
I think me and this girl had better part
"And you still sleeping there?"
With one eye open
"I said, Are you still sleeping there?"
I told you, with one eye open, cause if i close my eyes, I might lose my life
Man, you don't know my wife!
"What has she done to you now?"
She goes to bed every night
With her fists balled up tight
And then out of the bed
Hollering, "Come on Maskman, I'm ready to fight!"
That's what she said
That's what she trying to start
And then she run to the kitchen and get the water hot
She missed me with the water but she caught me with the pot
She picked a can of biscuits and I gave the dog a bite
He been barking at the moon and acting stupid all night
"Well why don't you call the law?"
Man, he's married to my mother-in-law!
Look out, look at that. You know what, she's trying to get rid of me. Look at that, putting hot sauce in my blueberry pie. I ain't goin for that. And look at that! She think she's going to do in somebody. Look here, putting glue in the gravy, trying to get me to shut my mouth. I ain't going to stop talking. I'm going to tell everybody about this thing! Yes I am!
"What has she done to you now?"
She's cookin me a meal, yeah she is
She call it the Monkey Stew, that's what she call it
She said, "Come here Maskman
I'm mixing up these ingredients just for you!" That's what she said
Then when she turned her back
I gave it to the cat
He sped out the door and ain't never came back
He stand up in the alley with a brick in his hand
He grabbed a bulldog in the collar and like to wasted my man
"You better keep on sleeping
With one eye open."
You don't have to worry!
What you trying to do?
What you do to me?
What you trying to do?
What you do?