My my my, my my my y'all
You know my wife she's a nurse, y'all
She go to work every night at a quarter to ten
She said, "Mask, I don't want you hanging over at Bill's apartment
You better be home when I come in."
Then my dog sat down and grinned his teeth
And then my cat lay down by the door
She said, "If you don't dig what soul mother said
You ain't gonna be sleeping around here no more."
"Well what are you doing shaking like that?"
I'm scared of my wife, my dog, and my cat
"I said what are you doing shaking like that?"
I told you I was scared of my wife, my dog, and my cat
I'm too good to them three for them to treat me like that
"What are you gonna do about it then?"
I'm gonna put on my [?]
My fifty dollar shoes
My crazy hat
I know they like it like that
And then I spit out in the hall
I heard ol' Bill call
He said, "Come on over, Mask, we really having a ball
You ain't got a thing to lose, we got a table full of booze
And all kinda food."
Then I slid on down the hall with a smile on my face
There was pretty girls sitting all over the place
"Were they fat?"
Fat as a country possum stuffed with sweet potatos
"I want to know, Were they fat?"
I told you they was fat as a country possum stuffed with sweet potatos
With their miniskirts on and their crazy sweaters
It took me two hours to get myself together
"You know your wife done told you about them young girls, old big-eyed Rover."
You know my wife don't know some things like that will never hurt her
I want a sandwich
"What you want on it?"
I'll take a couple of those pigs feets over there
Two or three of those hot rolls
Some of them greens with that fatback in it
And some of that potato salad
And I'll try some of them chilli dogs if you don't mind
Lord, having a good time
Good god, yeah
Having a party
Having a party y'all
"What are they doing in there now?"
Man, they doing a dance
They call it Squeeze Your Knees, that's what they doing
Old Bill fell out on the floor, You know what he said?
He said, "Lighten up on me baby, please."
That's what he said
Then one looked in the corner
Said "Mask, what's wrong with you?
There's a brand new dance, you can do it too
Then I got up in the fold, and got into my act
My old lady bust through the door
Then she touched me in the back
She had my German police dog with her
The one I raised from a pup
She sicked that monster on me, man
That was just too much
He tore off my crazy suit
And I run from under my hat
And when I slid out in my apartment door
I got [?] by the cat
"You better watch out
For your wife, your dog, and your cat."
What what what you doing?
What you trying to do?
What you do?
Tell them to leave me alone
Leave me alone