when you start hallucinating it gets hard to trust your perception of reality
so you learn to come up with tricks to validate what you see
like if you think someone knocked at the door and the dog barks while looking at the door, it's real
and if you're eating dinner with friends and a human stands up and walks behind you that seems inhumanly tall, find the most understanding person at the table and while the others are talking, ask them if they saw that really tall person too
you get to develop this relationship with your windows that is like a friend you binge eat around, they see you when you are weak, when you are just double checking no one is in the driveway like you just saw
and if you're out in public and you can't tell if an old man is really talking to himself or if you are making him talk to himself find the most sympathetic person to ask if they heard what he said
but it gets harder when you're talking to your boyfriend and you hear an iPhone ringtone come out of his throat in the middle of a word
because you don't want to seem that f**ing insane when you triple check if either of your phones just went off, but you heard it and its scary to think you're capable of creating things that convincingly, to where you're not convinced but you're pretty f**ing sure you just heard that
and you try to tell yourself you are lucky
its like you're on d** when you're not
"you get to be on d** when you're not"
"you don't have to pay money to see and hear things that aren't there, other people love this sh**."