I watch re-runs of the Jersey Shore
Snooki drank too much, now she's on the floor
It's a feeling that I've felt before
Though it was not televised
I don't mind, I don't get upset
And you're watching me while I'm watching it
I'm just curious I'm a scientist
But you think that I'm depressed
I watch reality TV
Just look at what it's done to me
I can't believe that nothing means
Not half of what it did
I don't mind, I don't get upset
But I haven't left my bedroom yet
And getting dressed was an accomplishment
So you win, you win, you win
You win, you win
Don't tell me where you've been
Don't tell me what you did
When you were gone
Me, I guess I'm still something of an amateur
You'd think that I would know by now
Season 8 and I ain't figured it out
So, on film I keep getting my feelings hurt
Or saying things you don't deserve
Or imprinting on you like a werewolf in love
I did, you don't get my references
What if I met someone who did
Did it all sound better in your head
That movie was so offensive but it got me through November
Even though I will swear up and down that I wish that I knew better
I wish I did
Don't tell me where you've been
Don't tell me what you did
When you were gone
When it gets so bad that it's almost good
I'll move to San Francisco or Hollywood
I won't write you like you wish I would
But I'll miss you all the same
You won't mind, you won't get upset
Once you change, all you want is the audience
They are obviously all narcissists
Me, I just love turning off my brain
One big escape
Don't tell me at all
(don't tell me where you've been)
I don't want to know
(don't tell me what you did)
I'll just watch it over and over on the show