[Chorus]
I always told you one day
I would be on top
I always told you one day
I'd make sense of it all
One day, one day
That day hasn't come quite yet
[Verse 1]
Life is up and down, I'm tired of this
Time is on my side but sh**
Seether in my head phones
I wonder when I'll be fine again
The d** and sh**? I tried to quit
Tried to hide the signs of it
"Oh, it's just my sinuses"
Like anybody buys that sh**
Tried to be positive, but I'm so different minus it
Every time I'm high, that's when I decide to quit
Like, no for real, this time is it
The next day "one more line,that's it!"
Knowing good and well one line wasn't ever it
Some days I'm clean, some days I'm not
Call it human nature, call it what you want
But I can see the walls closing in
And Rest in peace Nick Molden.. I don't want to die like my friend
[Bridge]
I don't know what's wrong with me
It's like this pain belongs to me
At least I got something I can call my own
Where did I go wrong?
[Chorus]
[Verse 2]
Life was never easy, before or after d**
And if this sh** to personal, then skip and play my track for clubs
I was 17 in DJ Dev's studio
High off every f**ing thing I could be on
I think it was like the 2nd time I met JellyRoll
He sat me down and told me something no rapper had said before
He said he heard I was doin coke on the regular
I'll never forget the look he had when he said "that's the Devil, bruh"
And either I was too young, too addicted, or too stupid
To see past the illusion, of what I thought I was doing
I never planned to be hooked
I planned to quit After I had some fun
I'd stop using eventually, of course that day has yet to come
[Bridge]
[Chorus]
[Verse 3]
Beauty is developed through pain, like wiped blood from a diamond
Left to my own devices, I self destruct, every time sh**
My best friend from childhood got married, and I was not invited
I never made time to see his son, so that sh**s not surprising
I ain't mad at him, by any means
I'm mad at myself, like what's gotten into me?
I've become so self obsessed that
I put off a vibe like everybody else is less than
That's never what I wanted when I wanted to make it
I cannot believe I've become what i hated
I always told myself I'd be humble and gracious
But somewhere between then and now My heart has been traded