[Intro]
[Verse 1]
I roll through Hyrule, swinging my blade
I've got mad rupees, hella paid
And I'm on a quest... to eliminate Ganon
Some say I'm a loose cannon
Just because I like to throw my swords
And leave them stuck dead in your vocal chords?
That don't mean you have to hate
Extinguishing evil is my fate
So I roam the land, every day and night
Looking for adventure, looking to fight
Ganon is a wizard, but I am much greater
My name is Link and I'm the hater exterminator
Don't test me... I come hard
Don't make me put you with the ghosts in the graveyard
North... West... South... West...
Secret pa**ageways in the forest, yes
I gotta get that Triforce back
Or the kingdom will think I'm hella wack - Check it
Don't think I'm a let that happen
I sword fight just as good as I'm rappin'
Miss Zelda is my lust
To win the princess over... I must
Wipe the darkness from these lands
I won't stop 'til I got Ganon's blood on my hands
[Speech]
That's right, fool! I'm coming for your pig-faced a**
Ain't nothing gonna stop me, nothing
You send your best henchman... the Triforce is mine
... Motherf**er
[Verse 2]
I stop to ask for directions
From an old man in a secret dungeon section
But this is what the old man spoke:
"Dodongo dislikes smoke." What the f**?
I guess I'm better off... by myself
k**ing my enemies, stealing their wealth
And I'm saving up... for expensive things
Arrows, potions, and power rings
All you Moblins ain't worth a dime
And Octoroks aren't worth my time
Lots of people are scared of spiders, right?
Well, I ain't scared of no god damned Tektite
Bring it on, b**h, bring it on
Once I find you, you won't last long
Make fun of my tunic... I ain't mad
The healing fairies all think I'm rad
Beat me, torture me, cut me up
I'll feel up a fairy and she'll heal me up
I'm unstoppable... You can't win
Even if I die, I'll come back again
So bring your monsters... they can die too
Ganon... I'm coming for you
[Narrator]
So, Link continued his journey...
Into the catacombs of d**h Mountain...
Wherein lied his ultimate fate:
To face Ganon... and return the Triforce... to Hyrule
[Verse 3]
I hack and I slash and I stab and I cut
When I finally find Ganon, I will f** him up
But the dungeon's a maze and I am getting lost
But I will find that ba*tard, no matter the cost
Digdogger was mean, but I pulled out my bow
I shot him in the eye with a silver arrow
A Darknut is nothing but a stain on my sword
These weak little creatures are leaving me bored
So I keep on walking 'til I find me a map
And I light my candle and I head down the path
And I hack and I slash and I kick some more a**
My health is now dropping, how long will I last?
I drank my last potion, my mouth is so dry
And I'm bleeding so much that I fear I might die
But I will not give up, and on that, you can bet
That I will save this kingdom, this ain't over yet
[Hook]
Good versus evil... No rest
d**h Mountain... My quest?
Journey to the underground lair
My name is Link, I'm the Ganon Slayer
Good versus evil... No rest
d**h Mountain... My quest?
Journey to the underground lair
My name is Link, I'm the Ganon Slayer
[Verse 4]
I found heart containers with a bit of luck
And I use my compa** so I'm no longer stuck
Now I'm outside the lair of my enemy
So I focus my hate to build more energy
I kicked down the door... but to my surprise
Ganon disappeared right before my very eyes
So I stood there and froze in the deep of the dark
The only sound was the beating of my heart
But I sensed a movement behind me, so I swung
With my Master Sword and I guess it must have stung
Cause Ganon lay hurt as he fell to the floor
Then I shot about twelve arrows into that who*e
Now Ganon is dead and the Triforce is back
And I am a hero, Zelda is on her back
I ended my quest in the princess so deep
I busted my nut and then I fell asleep
[Hook]
Good versus evil... No rest
d**h Mountain... My quest?
Journey to the underground lair
My name is Link, I'm the Ganon Slayer
Good versus evil... No rest
d**h Mountain... My quest?
Journey to the underground lair
My name is Link, I'm the Ganon... Slayer
... Slayer
[Commerical]
Watch Zelda become a legend on the Nintendo Entertainment System
"Zeldaaaaaaa! Woowoowoowooeeeeek! Octorocs!"
"Which. Way. To. Go? Blblbl Tektites!"
"Haha... Psh psh psh pew psh psh ah! Psh! ... P-P-Peahats! ... Leeeeeverrrrs!"
"Aaaaaaaagh! Zelda? Zelda?! Zelda?"
The Legend of Zelda... a nevernding adventure, new for your Nintendo Entertainment System
"ZELDAAAA?!"