(Check check, Sinoptic)
These rappers just live for the props and resent the feedback
I'm on this everyday, it's not often I get to relax
So when I hold mics, get bopping unless the beats whack
My rooms cluttered with Dockers and empty weed bags
To tell the truth, I should probably head to rehab
But I'm the type to say that he's stopped and intend to relapse
You can't spit with a beast that harms listeners
I kick back, scribble in pads and spark indica
Keeping our sharp, intricate, articulate bars infinite
You're not real, you're just tryna blend in, why ya pretendin'?
You're about as fly as a penguin on some ice with a bent wing
As tight as a sket's minge, these rhymers should get shrinks
I don't care if your boys roll with a piece
You toys don't wanna beef, I destroy those that compete
My points known when I speak
My voice flows with a beat
I'm the illest round here so avoid boastin' at me
Lunar's aggy like Kim, I jack you for the pad you're writin' your battle rhymes in
You're only rappin' like him when you're fantasizin'
When in reality your chance is quite slim
So when you grab the mic sing
You flop like a paralysed limb while my flow's so heavy it makes pa**ers-by limp
As the sands of time sink, word travels by wind, like dragonfly wings across the land as eyes blink
Sleepers catch a slight glimpse of how a mastermind thinks
But don't be shocked by my awful antics
I woke up this morning, back-flipped, snorted catnip, mauled a mastiff
Saw a spastic and pissed myself at Paula Radcliffe, you boring ba*tard
I don't care if it's bad for my health, pa** me the L
When I had my first blast I was 12 (he's a ba*tard himself)
I don't know if you can actually tell but I ain't rappin' I'm casting a spell
Like that old b**h from Drag Me To Hell
Even if my album stays sat at the shelves
Or it just happened to sell
I'm just glad to be felt
Like I broke out of a chastity belt
Going by the way that I tend to speak when I'm pissed
Girls probably think I had special needs as a kid
I never mean to be this self depreciative
But I never get a bird for whatever reason it is
I blame it on how it always smells of weed in my crib
I want a girl who'll pretend my penis is big
I've got a goal, I'm searching, I'm so determined
I wanna bone a virgin til' her toes are curling and my scrotum's hurting
The reason that my flow's disturbing
Is the place I wrote this verse in
Sat where the crows are circling over vermin
f** being a noble person, I'm a homeless urchin
Sofa-surfing in the clothes I've got to go to work in
I ain't nothin' but a nasty slob
I'll track down your yard with a bunch of angry yobs
But the front and back were locked
So I jumped through the window and f**ed the family dog
Jacked the piggy bank for how much a taxi cost
And I'm the one that rang the cops
For you to write them verses is futile and worthless
Cos' all that bullsh** was whack the first time I heard it
You're riddled in whackness and I'm allergic
I'm gettin' violent urges
I'll stick a hypodermic needle in your eye and squirt it
The type to burn spliffs inside the churches and swipe their purses
While they worship
I'll make you wish your dad and brother never snapped the rubber in your spastic mother
And never had to suffer the rejection when they asked to bum her
I'm the nasty f**er that put my hand in bu*ter and rammed it up her
I don't mean to sound like a co*ky c*nt
But the other day I met your bird and got her drunk
Took her home for some bongs or blunts
I said "I've got the munchies, what's for lunch?"
She said "I can't cook", I settled for some chocolate bu*tons and monster munch
Got her on all fours like she lost my skunk
And hit her with a donkey punch
BLAH